TQR Confidential

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Rejected! ... errrrrrr, I mean ... accepted! And who is Chris?

Hello Hennie,

I examined the capital you sent. I found it a difficult examination, to say the least. In fact, I thought it was just godawful. I mean, really. How dare you send us this offense, this offal. I've of a right mind to report you to the authorities that govern over, well, you know, ezines and stuff like that. All this talk about private areas and whatnot? How do you sleep, Hennie? Children could examine this capital just as well as myself or any other consenting adults, you know, and, well, children are our future. I love children! I'll have you know the last time I was exposed to filth like this, I took matters into my own hands, and sure maybe I did get into a bit of trouble with the Algerian "law enforcement", but at least a good outstanding Algerian "police chief" knows the value of a boxful of Japanese food-porn VHS, but, oh no. No. I say! Not this time, Ms. Denny, you won't bait me! I will not be baited! So I am sorry to report that the capital you sent us did not touch the money. And if it had, we'd need to dump that monkey in a bathtub full of cleanser and bubbly goodness pronto, maam. We'd need to scrub that monkey. And he wouldn't like it one bit, no siree. And it would have all been your fault. And one more thing, you sick animal! Just kidding, Chris. You're in. Again. Congrats.

Keep it unreal,

Boligard Doomey the Floor www.tqrstories.com

Thursday, July 18, 2013

PRISONER OF TYCHO set free once again upon the world

Bonjour, Monsieur Grey:

I am pleased that you have selected TQR as a place worthy of receiving your Capital as submitted for our consideration.

This date, I have read your Prisoner of Tycho, a work into which you have obviously placed much planning and care. Your overtones of redemption and possibility are not lost on me, Monsieur. A compassionate world may be possible on some plane at some time, n'est-ce pas? May it come to pass.

Today, I must advise that Prisoner of Tycho is not appropriate for our publication. Perhaps it will find a place more worthy of your work and, to this end, I send my best wishes. Suggestion: quick change "Uncle Buck" reference on or about page 19 to "Uncle Rock"! You are welcome.

Merci for your interest in our interminably incorrigible publication, Monsieur Grey. Perhaps we will hear from you again somewhere down the road a piece.

A bientot!