FOUR FRIENDS ENDS @THE FLOOR
Merci beaucoup for your recent submission for consideration by the increasingly decrepit albeit proud ezine TQR. I wonder sometimes how it is you VCs find us.
Four Friends is not for TQR, friend. Sometimes it's just a misalignment of...many aspects.
For what it's worth (and that may be nothing at all), I suggest you read the conversation between these four friends aloud. See, I did that, and I just can't hear people voices...not ones I, as a reader, might care about or take an interest in anyway. These are not fully developed people, but caricatures, the circumstances of their meeting and the ensuing exchange never extends its pitch high enough to ring the bell of authenticity. I dunno. Talk to some more women, preferably some with depth and desire beyond snagging a handsome, muscly temporary boyfriend with a good wardrobe. Real people want more.
Ach, what do I know? Maybe try another house. The Monkey here says non.
G. DePlancher / Floor Mopper, TQR
Sent while levitating from my own Bright Cloud.