TQR Confidential

Monday, August 22, 2016

TQR reviews Tom Sheehan's story collection JEHRICO

One man’s junk … but in Jehrico Taxico’s case it’s not so much treasure as the wherewithal to locate, haul and find a profitable niche for these lost and abandoned properties in his adopted home north of the border.

“The whole Earth is full of things worth collecting and using over again. I seen it done. Nothing dies easy.”

A large iron tub and a not-too out of tune piano fall to Jehrico’s expert salvage and removal mule train, making their way, thanks to his industry and pluck, into the warp and weft of life in Bola City.

Though set in the era of the wild west, Tom Sheehan’s locale has more in common with Andy Griffith’s Mayberry than Wyatt Earp’s Dodge City. Peopled with quirky characters like impromptu abbreviator Collie Sizemore and aptly named town crier Larrupin’ Lou, there’s always a kind of Greek chorus sitting around the saloon just waiting to pass its collective judgment on Jehrico’s machinations. And any fix our hero finds himself in is gotten out of most times by superior wit and cagey misdirection, in lieu of six shooters and hot lead. And fixes he fixes aplenty, not just his own. He even saves his future wife with a savvy bit of horse trading that is a delight to see. Not to mention the bath they communally take in the river once the trading’s done.

“…at the edge of the river, under a growth of trees that formed like an umbrella over one spot, she took off her clothes and stood there at the edge of the river waiting for Jehrico to undress.”

The stories are long verse poetics, where not only the language is beautiful but the outcomes ideal, the bad guys try to prolong their badness, but love and good intentions win out in the end.

Get it on your kindle here!

Monday, August 01, 2016

TQR sub update: Boligard giveth, Doomey taketh away

dearest gustavo, i am so proud of you. published in all those mags. good for you, man! hey, so, listen, the script you sent us did not touch the monkey. which might mean the monkey was in a bad mood, or maybe the monkey was high on something or other. anywhat, you did not jump that first hurdle. better luck next time.

dearest hermester, you can go wrap your lips around another sucker, okay? s'very funny, but not written well.

oh hi bruce, loved the cap you sent. thanks! always here for sleeping over, Boligard Doomey ps. i am not Russian

hey bev, loved the cap you sent over, cool. okay. so, yeah, you're in. check the site now and then. or don't. up to you.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz's chapbook reviewed

Straight, the protagonist of WHERE I’LL BE IF I’M NOT THERE, (the title story of Ms. Mintz’s chapbook) has some ‘splainin’ to do: To his lady love, his young daughter and, most importantly, to himself. The crime that got him 3-years incarceration is beside the point, and never specified. The story is about how Straight will react to once more having to navigate the treacherous straits of freedom.

Author Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz writes from a black working-class perspective. The details of many of her stories make one hope that she has at least made up some of the more lurid plot points, seeing as how they involve underage prostitution, incest and murder. Close to half of the stories are inhabited by protagonists who are growing up in fatherless homes, a reality that has plagued the black community for decades. The story where the father is still around is tempered by the fact he is not exactly the father figure you’d typically want him to be: Daddy beat Mr. Bailey dead but didn’t nobody know but me. An excellent example of a killer first line, by the way.

The characters speak a dialect of American English most commonly used by the poorer classes of black Americans. It’s very well done and grounds the reader in Ms. Mintz’s intended milieu. The stories in this chapbook also take some interesting detours from the standard form. THE STORY OF MY LIFE (SO FAR) is broken up in sections diagramming the pertinent parts of a story, such as setting, the characters, plot development, etc. in order to tell the unified story of a girl dealing with the incestuous proclivities of her step father; HUSH CHILD SHHH a moving account of an actual news story about the forgotten slave cemetery beneath the foundations of an old building that was discovered when the building was demolished and the subsequent reburial with due honor of all the bones that were found. The commentary by the ghost of the long-suffering mother speaking to her child interspersed in the factual accounts of the news story makes this a compelling and powerfully cathartic story.

The best of these stories transcends any notion of black and/or white America, instead focusing through the universal lens of hope. The best example of this being the aforementioned title story: WHERE I’LL BE IF I’M NOT THERE. Interestingly, the moment of truth in this story is precipitated by what can rightly be called a father figure. His boss, Mr. Gilbert, leaves the cash drawer in the bakery for Straight to open up with in the morning while he is away.

Mr. Gilbert had added instructions on how to run the register. The paper trembled in Straight’s hand.

Will Straight do the right thing, or take the money and run? This time, his name is true. And Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz, at her best, finds the hope and softness in a world of sorrow and hard edges.


Saturday, July 16, 2016


TQR: Good morning,

I hope your summer is going well. Believe or not, we're opening our 13th year on the Floor tomorrow. Or maybe we should skip that floor and go directly to 14 like they do in the hotel biz. I'll be opening up the door either tonight or early tomorrow. Thank you both for sticking around and making it fun to keep going. We'll see if we have any cap at all this quarter.

DEPLANCHER: Bonjour! I am here in PEI living in a tent and relying on public networks...will do me best...

Sent while levitating from my own Bright Cloud.

BOLIGARD: You're on Prince Edward Island.

Good christ, girl, You are the coolest. Someday we'll meet, but I'm scared. I mean, shit, you are too fucking cool for school. Damn.

So let's add each other, DeP and Rorschalk, on Facebook. What the hell. Look up Femme Futile and you've found me. I hardly ever get on the site, but'd be nice to friend each other.

God, I hope I get through this 13th. Trying to come up with a theme, but Boligard, I feel, has become quite the blowhard. Is that a word?

TQR:Femme Futile? That is quite funny. Man. I just can't get myself to facebook. I agree about Prince Edward Island. That is some cool shizzle. Sorry about not have the Floor up already. I'm just so fucking upset about Nice, France. Just really fucking bummed and pissed and feeling worthless. Anyhow. Don't worry about blowing hard. Some people like it that way. Good news, we've got some subs. I'll hand them out at least. Laterz!

[One day later]

Report: Quarter started with extended phone conversation from B. Doomey. Something about the SALTON SEA. Must check it out on my AMAZON FIRE STICK. Anywho. Gustavo from Argentina didn't touch the monkey. Two cap still in Dep and Doomey's capable hands. I will tweet for more shortly. The center cannot hold.

DEPLANCHER: Bonjour from the willow trees next to the red sand man over the cliffs of the stinky cormorant nests. Help. My hair is tangled in a mussel shelf...

Last night I read the one cap sent in very poor light of evening twilight with some help from my cat's eyes (yes, she is camping with us too). I like it, but near the end it lead me full speed into a wall without a ramp from which to launch my escape. Broke my crooked line of disbelief et al.

Oh well.

I am not actually very cool.

Tourist centre closes soon so probably not much post onsite today.

Hmmmm, Facebook. I am not on it. My dog was but she has now passed. If I begin, I will find you, Loosey, bien sur.


Thursday, March 17, 2016

An innerworkings report and fanciful trip inside Hobo Joe DelGuercio's head ...

TQR to his minions (H3K, Otto & Rockefeller): Hello! I guess this is the quarter where we throw the min/max word count range out the basement window. I've sent you a 3.000 word cap to read right? Well, here's one that tips the scales at 17K! I couldn't realistically turn anything away this quarter. Boli has just green lighted it and so it is yours! Thank you and sorry.

Attachments area Preview attachment EVERY GOOD STUD COMES TO THEIR SENSES.doc

Hello (again) ya'll No rush, just wanted to make sure you all got the novella by el grecko here. Fifteen more days to get this monster in (or out) as the case may be.

H3K to her liege lord TQR Feb 29 : Yes, yes, sorry. Am on deadline which will be over today; will post within a few days. Loved it and thinking our opinions will sync up on this one.

TQR to H3K Feb 29: So glad to hear you say that. I've read about half of it. It's strong.

H3K to TQR Mar 5 : Posted. Thanks for your patience.

TQR to H3K Mar 6: Sure thing. Excellent job. Thank you!

TQR to VC Chris DelGuercio Mar 14:

Dear Mr. DelGuercio, Congratulations! You're in like Flynn. Or Flint. Whichever you choose. I'll be sending you a contract shortly. Excellent work. Love the Burgess-esque manipulations of the language. I'll have an announcement up on the site shortly, as well. Let's see. I'll need an address where to send the cash. A bio and an origin story for EVERY GOOD STUD... as in, where'd it bubble up from, what caused it to be or whatever weirdness made it pop in your psyche. And a jpeg representation of yourself. An actual photo or reasonable facsimile thereof. Thanks and again, excellent work! Oh hey, Your address is on the front page of STUD. So, I know where you live. I'll send the cash there, if that's OK.

Chris DelGuercio to TQR Mar 16 I almost forgot. Here is my author bio that you requested and a bit about the origin and evolution of my story. Still working on the photo.


-Chris DelGuercio

Monday, January 11, 2016

Reality over ideology rare as Comstock ... let it ride

TQR: Good morning colonel,

Hey. I just found out you're a bronze star recipient and a combat surgeon! Thank you for the time and effort on my behalf. I did four in the Navy as a journalist during Desert Storm era. All of it was far from the action in Alameda, California.

I'm still waiting on that contract I sent a few days ago. I have edited BLOOD MONEY a bit. Took out the Texas sentence and the Laub as republican tag as well. I also changed the Pushto you had to the more commonly used Pashto derivation. I'm sure your version is the right one though, since you were over there. Just let me know how you want that handled. I can go back and change it. I cleaned up some typos and did end up changing a few sentences for clarity's sake. I can send you the edited version before it goes live. Just let me know. And send that contract back when you have a chance. Thank you.

PL: Alameda would have been great duty! I am attaching signed contract, I’m fine with your edits and feel free to use Pushto or Pashto.

TQR: Thank you, colonel. I hope the skiing was good! I just read your article in a 2014 edition of Cicero magazine. Very thoughtful stuff.

I love BLOOD MONEY for the fact it's not ideology over reality but exactly the opposite. You can have sympathy for a man revenging the death of his family because of the universality of the injustice, but still recognize it as absolute incompetence to allow this man into the country that took away his soul. Gee. I wonder what he's going to do once he gets here? Anyhow. That is what I took away from it. And like all good literature, I'm sure others will interpret it through their own lens and bias.

Thank you for allowing me to publish it. I realize $50 is a pittance, but you can let it ride on black and, if you're lucky, multiply it a few times over to make it worth your while! Best of luck.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Dep sends TtT to the Terminal for remedial spanking

Bonjour, Robert Cornwell:

Merci beaucoup for your submission, the strange and riveting Teasing the Troll, for our consideration here within the skanky stained walls of TQR.

It is I who have had the challenging task of listening to the blaring soundtrack while attempting to concentrate on the plot, subtext, and visuals you've woven adeptly into your cap. I am spent, but acknowledge that it is not your burden but my own.

The Monkey winced. I dodged. We wept a little together. And oui, we danced.

Know, sir, that we are but peons in the hierarchy of this space. You are hereby notified that Teasing the Troll rises from our hands (well, my hands; Monkey's paws) and into the claws of those shapeshifters who inhabit the Terminal. Is it good or bad? We'll see. Too late to back out now.

Let's see what happens.

Bonne chance!

G. DePlancher / The Floor -TQR

Sent while levitating from my own Bright Cloud.

Thursday, November 19, 2015


Bonjour, Monsieur Klass:

Honoured, dear prolixic VC, that you've graced us within the decrepit walls of velvet TQR with this cap of intrigue. I reel from reading it through for it's dense in content, thick with imagery, and long in yardage.

The Monkey tilts his head from right to left as we move from page to page. There is grace here, and of course skill in craft. It is, however, either more or less than is well fitted for our meagre publication. I think it a monologue, a play, or a novella's manuscript rather than the thing we perpetually seek...merely captivating or riveting 'story'.

It may be that you could replace 'Jord' with 'DePlancher' in your line appearing on page 11 or thereabouts so that it reads: 'I can tell, DePlancher, these Greek poetical references have been flying over your head like Zeusian (or 'Klassian'?) eagles'.

Anything may be true. That you're adept at telling the tale is not in question so do not think it so for a moment. Call it misalignment of purpose, square in circle, or something like that. It is not right for us.

Best to you in finding a more welcoming placement for the work. Even our dirty, judgmental Monkey thinks it worthy of that gift.

Merci for your interest in TQR.

G. DePlancher / The Floor - TQR

Wednesday, November 18, 2015


The artist known as ROCKEFELLER: I seem to have forgotten my login id and/or password. Because old terminal stuff is not archived I can't find any of my old posts. Who am I? I think I know my password, just not my user id.

TQR: You can go to NEW FREE MARKET and click on XTRMNL and all your old posts are archived there. And thanks for getting the ball rolling. ... Speaking of archived free market stuff, would you like to see the XTRMNL have its own front page icon in perpetuity? Some of those old discussions might play well in Peoria. Me love you long time.

The artist known as ROCKEFELLER: Ooooo …. Me you baby, jig-jig now okay.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Dale Carother's Cap smothers Doomey with joy

Dear Dale,

not sure of your sensibilities, but...you pretty much just raped the monkey with the cap you sent. you made the monkey your bitch, sister. i have never seen two worlds so clearly. two worlds living side by side, with sparks. wow. seriously. you must be one sick fucking bastard. you are my new favorite human. your cap will be promptly shuffled upstairs to the Terminal. watch for tat uh tat come the 15th.

bring it,

boligard doomey / the Floor / www.tqrstories.com