Dep's point is well taken by Brasater's POINTILLISM, REDUX

Bonjour, Monsieur Brasater:

Thank you for your recent submission, Pointillism, Redux, for our consideration here in the mysterious halls of the almost public, TQR.

I see possibility here, dear VC, but I will admit that the utterly ruthless Great Monkey who rules this place inside and out is slightly shaken by a few features that present in your precious Pointillism, Redux. Unfortunately, these contribute to the reasons why I cannot recommend it for further review by our stalwart editorial staff in the meat locker upstairs (otherwise referred to as The Terminal). Trust me, it is better for you this way.

A couple of things that stiffened the Monkey's sensitive tail:

1. the form used to convey Cohan's unique dialect - distracting;

2. improper use of the semi-colon

3. several typos

4. long passages in text that just seem too long to contribute meaningfully to plot

5. is the first section where the concoction is...erm, concocted...critical to a reader's understanding of what happened in this mystery? Only you can answer of course, but keep in mind that while some backstory aspects such as this may work well in film, they may not contribute so much textually. The poison is quite well explained in the last third of the cap.

Pointillism, Redux has plenty of potential. I hope you work it and tighten it up so that next time you submit, it zings like a taut rubber band shot across the room.

The Monkey and I concur that it's not quite ready to face the chamber upstairs in its current form. Work it. Read it aloud while pacing barefoot on a cold floor. You will find what it is that halts the rhythm of your step, check it and let that stuff fall away. What will remain will shine like the sleuthful pience you seem to be after.

We appreciate your interest in TQR and hope to hear from you again.

Best to keep writing,

G. DePlancher

The Floor, TQR

The quest for capital gain immortality continues por LA ELEGIA

Bonjour, Monsieur Scott Archer Jones,

Thank you for your recent submission, La Elegia Por David Alvarez, for consideration by the jaundiced and humblebumble rag that is TQR. We, too, live a long moonlight mile from our nearest neighbour. Some claim we chop more than wood, but the world is full of rumour and half-eaten doughnuts.

I've been thinking about your goodheart, David Alvarez. This is a good sign, je pense, when a character in fiction lingers. Good, too, that I wonder what events await him after delivering his brave answer, Non. You leave a reader wandering, not exactly lost, but certainly mumbling, "mo' please".

Anyway, here's the news, good or bad yet to be seen: the Great Monkey who vomits upon these tiles that surround us here on The Floor is excited. Oui, it seems I'm not the only one who, upon reading your cap rife with shadow, sand, and sinister sibilance, has been affected.

I'm recommending La Elegia Por David Alvarez for further reading/mulching by the zoo animals in The Terminal. You will experience elation or great despair. Either way, something will happen. Watch for commentary after the 15th of the month when they open the great maw and begin their important contemplations.

Bonne chance, and remember, mon cher, that you brought this on yourself!

Humbly yours,

Gabrielle DePlancher