Week 2: The Floor, Fall 2010
[Rorschalk paces the plush carpet of the executive suite, ruminating, marinating even, upon the vicissitudes of his current lot in life. Unable to figure it out, he takes off his pince nez and picks up the phone]
Tony's? I'd like an extra large pie with anchovies and extra cheese. Make sure I get the peppers and the mozerella. No. I'll be there in half an hour to pick it up. My phone number is........
[Meanwhile, the Floorites plot their insurrections...]
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/25 23:08 By: doomey Status: Admin
Karma: -1760
Admin
Posts: 1482
[doomey paces the glass tiles of the Floor, picking at some dried guacamole that's somehow adhered itself to his suit coat lapel, the left one, not the right, which makes sense seeing as how he's left handed and would more than likely dip a chip with that hand. he gazes up at the mirrorball]
it's been decided that no more ruminations shall pass from the upper tiers of this building to the lower, the lowest, the basement, the Floor. on this day, the twenty-somethingth of, what the fuck is it, July? unless said tier, point of fact the executive suite, is open and has its own icon on the front page of tqrstories.com, no mention of said tier shall be mentioned as if one were pacing said tier's carpet and tasting said tier's marvelous, or so i've heard mention, roast beef, although mention of said tier, once more, point of fact - just so we're all on the same page - the executive suite, will be allowed when mentioning it as subject matter, ie "so i was up in the executive suite this afternoon rubbing my penis on things that would likely be touched at a later time by someone other than me, point of fact theodore rorschalk." mention of said tier in that manner is totally cool.
[doomey nods to jesus christ, who's up on a ladder wiping down the mirrorball]
you getting all this, shapiro?
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/25 23:12 By: Jesus Status: Admin
Karma: 2
Admin
Posts: 199
[Jesus wipes sweat from his brow and looks down at Doomey]
Eh?
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/25 23:36 By: doomey Status: Admin
Karma: -1760
Admin
Posts: 1482
[doomey goes back to pacing the tiles, wiping clean his lapel]
good, good. and also, let it be known that i wasn't kidding about the rubbing thing. but now, you know, like the good book says, time is money. back to the biz that is brokering.
[he wanders over to his desk and examines the latest cap he's ripped into]
sent to me from some cat named Chris Miller.
[in the middle of the cherrywood sits a plastic praying mantis, five inches high standing on its four skinny hind legs, a creepy smile on its creepy little alien face. surrounding the mantis is a whole bunch of little plastic grasshoppers. little plastic grasshoppers that twitch their antennae occasionally. oh, and now that one over there at the edge just jumped at doomey, threw itself at him like a friggin' bullet]
oh shit.
[the grasshoppers attack, boinging and cracking doomey in the face and chest. doomey raises his hands in defense, but then he turns and runs]
i thought those little bastards were fake! i'll Terminal your cap, Miller! Just call off your fucking bugs!
[doomey runs out the door. the grasshoppers calm themselves. they encircle the plastic bug like its some sort of idol they deem worthy of worship]
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/27 02:03 By: deplancher Status: Admin
Karma: 14
Admin
Posts: 1058
[DeP sets the bagel down on the napkin. The stack of caps languishes on her desk. Part of one packet, a bright red one with what appears to be a giant peanut attached to the front page, lies askew. She might have been using it to test the new calligraphy pens she found at the pawn shop. Then again, she might not. She is reading, studying really, but the restless Jesus dangling from the mirror ball distracts her.]
Shay-zuus! You must complete this and go---get some buttermilk or something svp. Clean out your closet.
Doomey? [it seems he is temporarily absent] What are all these bugs doing in here?
[she strokes Rimbaud and he purrs like the lazy fat cat that he is]
What is this then? Glint? Curious title. I could swear I've seen this before and yet I have not yet seen it.
[she flicks the red cap with the peanut aside and smooths the pages of this familiar, albeit slightly wrinkly packet.]
We shall see if there is a shine to this Glint.
[DeP flicks on the desk lamp and slumps down into her chair, reading.]
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/28 05:34 By: doomey Status: Admin
Karma: -1760
Admin
Posts: 1482
[doomey barges in through the door. strapped to his back is a bulky gizmo, looks like something from a ghostbusters movie, hoses and switches and lights and a big empty bell jar perched on top just behind doomey's head. he grabs a nozzle from a thigh holster, and he reaches around and flicks a switch. the machine lights up, it starts to hum a wicked tune, it belches and farts and rumbles, vibrating, shaking doomey's slumped shoulders, and all this seems to put pep into doomey's step, a glint of hope in his eye. he steps over to his cherrywood and thrusts the tip of the nozzle into the throbbing mob of grasshoppers gathered on the desktop. the bugs are sucked into the nozzle and they appear in the bell jar perched behind doomey's head. soon the jar is full and the desktop is bug-free. the bugs are jostling for shoulder room in there, really beating each other up. doomey grabs up the plastic praying mantis, and then he walks over to the tube. he shoves the tip of the nozzle up into the tube, turns the tube on, and with a mighty whoooosh, the grasshoppers are sucked from the jar and they race upward]
hah! let those fuckers deal with that!
[craning his neck, he can see the jar is empty. he pulls out the nozzle and reholsters it. he examines the plastic mantis one last time. it turns its creepy little alien head and gazes at doomey. it opens its maw as if it would really like to eat doomey's head]
fuck me sideways.
[he shoves the bug up the tube and sends it Terminalward. doomey stumbles back to his desk, the weight of the gismo on his back dragging him down]
man of my word, Miller's The Mantis has been Terminaled, sisters. phew. jeez. did not see that coming.
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/29 00:27 By: deplancher Status: Admin
Karma: 14
Admin
Posts: 1058
[Dep stretches and looks up from her curious family cap to see what the racket is about. Doomey's back. A bell jar on his head...jingle jangle. Sounds like a pop song.]
Hey. Have you seen page eleven of this? [she holds up a purple sheet with poplar leaves embossed into the bottom right hand corner. Some investors are, well, serious.]
Doesn't matter. Peralta-Paulino's Glint is Terminaled.
Unless, of course...you don't think the Irish got it, do you?
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/30 01:12 By: deplancher Status: Admin
Karma: 14
Admin
Posts: 1058
[DeP is standing in Tree Pose. She is ignoring Jesus, who is balancing, in sandals, on the top step of the ladder. Breathe in breathe out.]
This is this and that is that. Jesus? I'm ignoring you and your dangling slack pants. I hope you fall, I do!
Well, I don't but---you're a reckless man. And who's gonna shine the mirror ball if you slip and crack your fat skull?
[she shifts a little, having lost the breath rhythm for a few seconds]
I thought that last cap was a tribute to a brassiere maker. The mind wanders, Jesus. The mind wanders.
I don't know. I just don't know. What's the era? The motivation? Why should I care about this little Barbie doll?
[she lowers her left leg to the floor and then, straightening, closes the pose. Stretches. She returns to her desk, pausing only briefly to glance out the window into the street. Through the dust, she sees Doomey with two paper sacks. It's either lunch or liquor. Maybe both.]
I think you can do better with this, Ms. O'Keeffe. Your girl has been launched but she needs dynamics. C'mon, give her some!
[DeP gathers up the cap adorned in pink ribbons, straightens the pages, then pushes the whole thing out the porthole.]
I don't like this part, Jesus. I don't like it.
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/30 02:31 By: deplancher Status: Admin
Karma: 14
Admin
Posts: 1058
[DeP is sloshing salsa over the corn chips Doomey has delivered. She checks her shot glass for the worm that Jesus warned her about. Cuervo, she knows, does not have worms installs worms in its bottles. That's that other stuff, Metaxa or something. She is sitting cross-legged on the floor, directly under the freshly polished mirror ball. Doomey has removed his boots and now lies on his back, looking upward and smiling.]
It's like the moon sometimes, non? When we're living in this place, surrounded by creations and visions of the VCs, it's like we've been dropped down into someone else's imagination. Capital managers on the moon.
[Doomey chuckles but says nothing. He indulges her and she goes on. Salsa, cuervo. The mirror ball, the half moon peeking in through the temporary window coverings. Sacks des potates avec cherises et le lune.]
Hey, I've got one ready for a read on my desk over there you know? It came in a little box that looks just like a coffin...non! I swear it did. And there's this creepy little doll voice that shouts from inside whenever I get near it. It shouts 'Heil Hitlah!' and right after that there's a guitar intro to what I think is a song from the seventies.[sings] Your mama won't like meeeee... Anyway.
I'm diggin' it I guess. Though the little voice, you know. Creepy. What if there's one of those mini Me guys on page fifteen huh? Doomey?
[she sees that he is napping, a smile on his face, relaxed for once. It's exhausting being an international man of mystery. DeP tips the glass up, the last drops of the cuervo passing her lips, then covers her friend with her cloak.]
Just you and me for awhile, oh Great ceiling ball. Shining Moon of the Floorites. Keeper of all our secrets here.
Tony's? I'd like an extra large pie with anchovies and extra cheese. Make sure I get the peppers and the mozerella. No. I'll be there in half an hour to pick it up. My phone number is........
[Meanwhile, the Floorites plot their insurrections...]
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/25 23:08 By: doomey Status: Admin
Karma: -1760
Admin
Posts: 1482
[doomey paces the glass tiles of the Floor, picking at some dried guacamole that's somehow adhered itself to his suit coat lapel, the left one, not the right, which makes sense seeing as how he's left handed and would more than likely dip a chip with that hand. he gazes up at the mirrorball]
it's been decided that no more ruminations shall pass from the upper tiers of this building to the lower, the lowest, the basement, the Floor. on this day, the twenty-somethingth of, what the fuck is it, July? unless said tier, point of fact the executive suite, is open and has its own icon on the front page of tqrstories.com, no mention of said tier shall be mentioned as if one were pacing said tier's carpet and tasting said tier's marvelous, or so i've heard mention, roast beef, although mention of said tier, once more, point of fact - just so we're all on the same page - the executive suite, will be allowed when mentioning it as subject matter, ie "so i was up in the executive suite this afternoon rubbing my penis on things that would likely be touched at a later time by someone other than me, point of fact theodore rorschalk." mention of said tier in that manner is totally cool.
[doomey nods to jesus christ, who's up on a ladder wiping down the mirrorball]
you getting all this, shapiro?
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/25 23:12 By: Jesus Status: Admin
Karma: 2
Admin
Posts: 199
[Jesus wipes sweat from his brow and looks down at Doomey]
Eh?
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/25 23:36 By: doomey Status: Admin
Karma: -1760
Admin
Posts: 1482
[doomey goes back to pacing the tiles, wiping clean his lapel]
good, good. and also, let it be known that i wasn't kidding about the rubbing thing. but now, you know, like the good book says, time is money. back to the biz that is brokering.
[he wanders over to his desk and examines the latest cap he's ripped into]
sent to me from some cat named Chris Miller.
[in the middle of the cherrywood sits a plastic praying mantis, five inches high standing on its four skinny hind legs, a creepy smile on its creepy little alien face. surrounding the mantis is a whole bunch of little plastic grasshoppers. little plastic grasshoppers that twitch their antennae occasionally. oh, and now that one over there at the edge just jumped at doomey, threw itself at him like a friggin' bullet]
oh shit.
[the grasshoppers attack, boinging and cracking doomey in the face and chest. doomey raises his hands in defense, but then he turns and runs]
i thought those little bastards were fake! i'll Terminal your cap, Miller! Just call off your fucking bugs!
[doomey runs out the door. the grasshoppers calm themselves. they encircle the plastic bug like its some sort of idol they deem worthy of worship]
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/27 02:03 By: deplancher Status: Admin
Karma: 14
Admin
Posts: 1058
[DeP sets the bagel down on the napkin. The stack of caps languishes on her desk. Part of one packet, a bright red one with what appears to be a giant peanut attached to the front page, lies askew. She might have been using it to test the new calligraphy pens she found at the pawn shop. Then again, she might not. She is reading, studying really, but the restless Jesus dangling from the mirror ball distracts her.]
Shay-zuus! You must complete this and go---get some buttermilk or something svp. Clean out your closet.
Doomey? [it seems he is temporarily absent] What are all these bugs doing in here?
[she strokes Rimbaud and he purrs like the lazy fat cat that he is]
What is this then? Glint? Curious title. I could swear I've seen this before and yet I have not yet seen it.
[she flicks the red cap with the peanut aside and smooths the pages of this familiar, albeit slightly wrinkly packet.]
We shall see if there is a shine to this Glint.
[DeP flicks on the desk lamp and slumps down into her chair, reading.]
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/28 05:34 By: doomey Status: Admin
Karma: -1760
Admin
Posts: 1482
[doomey barges in through the door. strapped to his back is a bulky gizmo, looks like something from a ghostbusters movie, hoses and switches and lights and a big empty bell jar perched on top just behind doomey's head. he grabs a nozzle from a thigh holster, and he reaches around and flicks a switch. the machine lights up, it starts to hum a wicked tune, it belches and farts and rumbles, vibrating, shaking doomey's slumped shoulders, and all this seems to put pep into doomey's step, a glint of hope in his eye. he steps over to his cherrywood and thrusts the tip of the nozzle into the throbbing mob of grasshoppers gathered on the desktop. the bugs are sucked into the nozzle and they appear in the bell jar perched behind doomey's head. soon the jar is full and the desktop is bug-free. the bugs are jostling for shoulder room in there, really beating each other up. doomey grabs up the plastic praying mantis, and then he walks over to the tube. he shoves the tip of the nozzle up into the tube, turns the tube on, and with a mighty whoooosh, the grasshoppers are sucked from the jar and they race upward]
hah! let those fuckers deal with that!
[craning his neck, he can see the jar is empty. he pulls out the nozzle and reholsters it. he examines the plastic mantis one last time. it turns its creepy little alien head and gazes at doomey. it opens its maw as if it would really like to eat doomey's head]
fuck me sideways.
[he shoves the bug up the tube and sends it Terminalward. doomey stumbles back to his desk, the weight of the gismo on his back dragging him down]
man of my word, Miller's The Mantis has been Terminaled, sisters. phew. jeez. did not see that coming.
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/29 00:27 By: deplancher Status: Admin
Karma: 14
Admin
Posts: 1058
[Dep stretches and looks up from her curious family cap to see what the racket is about. Doomey's back. A bell jar on his head...jingle jangle. Sounds like a pop song.]
Hey. Have you seen page eleven of this? [she holds up a purple sheet with poplar leaves embossed into the bottom right hand corner. Some investors are, well, serious.]
Doesn't matter. Peralta-Paulino's Glint is Terminaled.
Unless, of course...you don't think the Irish got it, do you?
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/30 01:12 By: deplancher Status: Admin
Karma: 14
Admin
Posts: 1058
[DeP is standing in Tree Pose. She is ignoring Jesus, who is balancing, in sandals, on the top step of the ladder. Breathe in breathe out.]
This is this and that is that. Jesus? I'm ignoring you and your dangling slack pants. I hope you fall, I do!
Well, I don't but---you're a reckless man. And who's gonna shine the mirror ball if you slip and crack your fat skull?
[she shifts a little, having lost the breath rhythm for a few seconds]
I thought that last cap was a tribute to a brassiere maker. The mind wanders, Jesus. The mind wanders.
I don't know. I just don't know. What's the era? The motivation? Why should I care about this little Barbie doll?
[she lowers her left leg to the floor and then, straightening, closes the pose. Stretches. She returns to her desk, pausing only briefly to glance out the window into the street. Through the dust, she sees Doomey with two paper sacks. It's either lunch or liquor. Maybe both.]
I think you can do better with this, Ms. O'Keeffe. Your girl has been launched but she needs dynamics. C'mon, give her some!
[DeP gathers up the cap adorned in pink ribbons, straightens the pages, then pushes the whole thing out the porthole.]
I don't like this part, Jesus. I don't like it.
The topic has been locked.
Re:Week 2, Fall Issue 2010
Date: 2010/07/30 02:31 By: deplancher Status: Admin
Karma: 14
Admin
Posts: 1058
[DeP is sloshing salsa over the corn chips Doomey has delivered. She checks her shot glass for the worm that Jesus warned her about. Cuervo, she knows, does not have worms installs worms in its bottles. That's that other stuff, Metaxa or something. She is sitting cross-legged on the floor, directly under the freshly polished mirror ball. Doomey has removed his boots and now lies on his back, looking upward and smiling.]
It's like the moon sometimes, non? When we're living in this place, surrounded by creations and visions of the VCs, it's like we've been dropped down into someone else's imagination. Capital managers on the moon.
[Doomey chuckles but says nothing. He indulges her and she goes on. Salsa, cuervo. The mirror ball, the half moon peeking in through the temporary window coverings. Sacks des potates avec cherises et le lune.]
Hey, I've got one ready for a read on my desk over there you know? It came in a little box that looks just like a coffin...non! I swear it did. And there's this creepy little doll voice that shouts from inside whenever I get near it. It shouts 'Heil Hitlah!' and right after that there's a guitar intro to what I think is a song from the seventies.[sings] Your mama won't like meeeee... Anyway.
I'm diggin' it I guess. Though the little voice, you know. Creepy. What if there's one of those mini Me guys on page fifteen huh? Doomey?
[she sees that he is napping, a smile on his face, relaxed for once. It's exhausting being an international man of mystery. DeP tips the glass up, the last drops of the cuervo passing her lips, then covers her friend with her cloak.]
Just you and me for awhile, oh Great ceiling ball. Shining Moon of the Floorites. Keeper of all our secrets here.
posted by Theodore Q. Rorschalk at
12:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home