Dep lets Ms. Mims down easy w/sum gnarly feedback

Bonjour, Ms Mims:

Thank you for your recent submission, It Takes Two, for consideration in this place at the end of the road that we call TQR.

The story is well-written. You have a good base for story and character, Ms. Mims.

But it is not yet ready, I think.

What, you must ask in the quiet hours of reflection, is unique about this relationship, this unfolding, this almost-dried-up relationship between the once famously popular cheerleader/homecoming queen and the fabulously fit football star?

You know, of course, that this story has been told before. But that is not a crime. Everything has been told before...it is in the telling that a writer must illuminate something yet undiscovered or at least appearing to be unique, to create something new within what may be very familiar territory. There's the challenge..

Do not discard your cap but re-visit it, if you will, after a time. Perhaps, for example, it is too easy for the protag and her beau, Dexter, to return to victory and rainbowland so easily. Six months from near ruin to svelte and fit again? ..we must think upon this, Ms. Mims.

You will find it, as you are a writer who cares about your characters. At the moment, It Takes Two is not TQR material but that doesn't mean it could not become same. In its present form, it may also suit a more conventional, feel-good publication.

You know from reading here probably that we are slightly off centre of that.

Merci, and all the best to you!