1st Quarter Gmails: The GOOD and The F'UGLY
Starting with The GOOD and...
... here's a VC responding to my After-Action Survey (a brief questionnaire gmailed to all VC who submitted during the preceding quarter). It's my hope we can make all VC's experience as positive as this one:
Dear Theodore,
What a pleasure to hear from you!
I'd accidently lost you somewhere in cyberspace,
and then poof, you appear on my doorstep.
Now, you've been branded and corraled (hope you don't
mind).
At the risk of sounding like I'm brown-nosing,
my rejection at the hands of TQR was the kindest,
most encouraging rejection I've ever experienced.
I've been writing for less than a year, and haven't
submitted very often yet, but still, I can't imagine
a finer rejection.
The responder (perhaps you?) said nice things
about my piece and how far it had gone, and
encouraged me to expand it and resubmit.
I wrote back with a couple questions and got
answers immediately.
And now, you're requesting feedback on that
experience!
My god, much more of this humane treatment
and I'll suspect you're up to some crime! (File
as potential story plot.)
If I could change one thing, it might be making
your website easier to find. My search for Total
Quality Reading got nothing and I couldn't find
you with a search for literary ezines although
I don't recall the exact words I used in my search.
One other thing I appreciate is that you are
looking for stories of up to 12K! Thanks for
giving us long-winded storytellers shelter
from the flash storms.
I'm looking forward to submitting again soon.
Ruthie Andrews
###
Then there is The F'UGLY
The following is a gmail exchange that kinda sorta spiralled out of control. Maybe I was a bit premature with 'Tessa' [who I've renamed Madame X here to protect the no contested]. But I was tired of sitting around waiting for her to do what she'd volunteered to do, and, with a deadline looming, took matters into my own hands. I wasn't positive it would end so badly, but I wasn't surprised when it did either. So...fye (for your entertainment).
Sent by TQR:
Due to your mitigating cirumcstances, I'm going to take the pressure of you this quarter. I've read the work and will send off rejection letters before I go to negotiate with Rokky. I hope you two have more time next quarter to do your thing.
###
hey!
I wasn't ready to back out just yet! I was pulling over the [John Doe] and [Joe Blow] as contenders. what do yo think? maybe we could do this quarter together a bit?
xx Madame X
###
TQR
I just sent [Joe Blow] a rejection notice. [John Doe] is my favorite story so far. So we're batting .500.
I just figured I better take over this quarter since you said you couldn't get to it until this weekend, and the deadline is Friday or Saturday at the latest. Like I said, bad timing. You're trip to [Lower Slobovia] set us back two weeks to begin with, and then once you got back, you've had other commitments to attend to. I understand how real life intrudes and don't hold it against you. I just had to step in this time to make good on the deadline. So forget about this quarter, and here's to a better one next time around.
###
Madame X
can I add that I was told [Jane Doe] was genre - it's sf and she's publishing it under her [pseudonese] whatist name? Pretty important to get that right i think
I think in the light of this I'd better formally withdraw completely. you seem to have it in hand
###
TQR
Yeah, you seem very busy, what with teaching and writing and everything. Thanks.
###
Madame X
well you've hardly given us much time for this. plus [theo] this doesn't address this question of whose [Jane Doe] should have been and what she is publishing under. on the site you have it wrong.
and please so{sic} not get snotty with me
###
TQR
I know. There have been some mix ups with the stories. I take responsibility for that. Sorry. [Jane Doe's] story could be called literary though, too, I think. Anyhow. I'm not getting snotty. I'm just tired of waiting. I realize you were in [Lower Slovovia] and would be back Jan 3. So. I waited patiently all that week [Jan4-10]for something to get started. Nothing happened. I sent out cajoling gmails and the like. I'm sorry it didn't work out. You're very busy and I realize that this TQR non-paying gig is not a priority for you. That's very understandable. Let's just call it a wash.
###
Madame X
jesus [theo]. i'd been sitting on my arse waiting for months . you say i set you back 2 weeks - it WAS FUCKING CHRISTMAS! I'm supposed to jump when you say so! and when I returned I was FUCKING ILL! I still am!
I am sorry my priorities like working and having a phd paper due in otherwise I'd lose my funding bothers you.
just fuck off and do not bother me again. Just fuck off
###
The only thing that confuses me is why she didn't end this last missive with kissy faced xx's like she did with her first one ... which would have added just that extra bit of subtlety she was otherwise lacking. Hey you on the drum kit! Give me a rimshot! But seriously, as the saying goes, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." And there can be no better example than experiencing it for yourself. 'Tessa' is dead, long live Tessa!
... here's a VC responding to my After-Action Survey (a brief questionnaire gmailed to all VC who submitted during the preceding quarter). It's my hope we can make all VC's experience as positive as this one:
Dear Theodore,
What a pleasure to hear from you!
I'd accidently lost you somewhere in cyberspace,
and then poof, you appear on my doorstep.
Now, you've been branded and corraled (hope you don't
mind).
At the risk of sounding like I'm brown-nosing,
my rejection at the hands of TQR was the kindest,
most encouraging rejection I've ever experienced.
I've been writing for less than a year, and haven't
submitted very often yet, but still, I can't imagine
a finer rejection.
The responder (perhaps you?) said nice things
about my piece and how far it had gone, and
encouraged me to expand it and resubmit.
I wrote back with a couple questions and got
answers immediately.
And now, you're requesting feedback on that
experience!
My god, much more of this humane treatment
and I'll suspect you're up to some crime! (File
as potential story plot.)
If I could change one thing, it might be making
your website easier to find. My search for Total
Quality Reading got nothing and I couldn't find
you with a search for literary ezines although
I don't recall the exact words I used in my search.
One other thing I appreciate is that you are
looking for stories of up to 12K! Thanks for
giving us long-winded storytellers shelter
from the flash storms.
I'm looking forward to submitting again soon.
Ruthie Andrews
###
Then there is The F'UGLY
The following is a gmail exchange that kinda sorta spiralled out of control. Maybe I was a bit premature with 'Tessa' [who I've renamed Madame X here to protect the no contested]. But I was tired of sitting around waiting for her to do what she'd volunteered to do, and, with a deadline looming, took matters into my own hands. I wasn't positive it would end so badly, but I wasn't surprised when it did either. So...fye (for your entertainment).
Sent by TQR:
Due to your mitigating cirumcstances, I'm going to take the pressure of you this quarter. I've read the work and will send off rejection letters before I go to negotiate with Rokky. I hope you two have more time next quarter to do your thing.
###
hey!
I wasn't ready to back out just yet! I was pulling over the [John Doe] and [Joe Blow] as contenders. what do yo think? maybe we could do this quarter together a bit?
xx Madame X
###
TQR
I just sent [Joe Blow] a rejection notice. [John Doe] is my favorite story so far. So we're batting .500.
I just figured I better take over this quarter since you said you couldn't get to it until this weekend, and the deadline is Friday or Saturday at the latest. Like I said, bad timing. You're trip to [Lower Slobovia] set us back two weeks to begin with, and then once you got back, you've had other commitments to attend to. I understand how real life intrudes and don't hold it against you. I just had to step in this time to make good on the deadline. So forget about this quarter, and here's to a better one next time around.
###
Madame X
can I add that I was told [Jane Doe] was genre - it's sf and she's publishing it under her [pseudonese] whatist name? Pretty important to get that right i think
I think in the light of this I'd better formally withdraw completely. you seem to have it in hand
###
TQR
Yeah, you seem very busy, what with teaching and writing and everything. Thanks.
###
Madame X
well you've hardly given us much time for this. plus [theo] this doesn't address this question of whose [Jane Doe] should have been and what she is publishing under. on the site you have it wrong.
and please so{sic} not get snotty with me
###
TQR
I know. There have been some mix ups with the stories. I take responsibility for that. Sorry. [Jane Doe's] story could be called literary though, too, I think. Anyhow. I'm not getting snotty. I'm just tired of waiting. I realize you were in [Lower Slovovia] and would be back Jan 3. So. I waited patiently all that week [Jan4-10]for something to get started. Nothing happened. I sent out cajoling gmails and the like. I'm sorry it didn't work out. You're very busy and I realize that this TQR non-paying gig is not a priority for you. That's very understandable. Let's just call it a wash.
###
Madame X
jesus [theo]. i'd been sitting on my arse waiting for months . you say i set you back 2 weeks - it WAS FUCKING CHRISTMAS! I'm supposed to jump when you say so! and when I returned I was FUCKING ILL! I still am!
I am sorry my priorities like working and having a phd paper due in otherwise I'd lose my funding bothers you.
just fuck off and do not bother me again. Just fuck off
###
The only thing that confuses me is why she didn't end this last missive with kissy faced xx's like she did with her first one ... which would have added just that extra bit of subtlety she was otherwise lacking. Hey you on the drum kit! Give me a rimshot! But seriously, as the saying goes, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." And there can be no better example than experiencing it for yourself. 'Tessa' is dead, long live Tessa!
posted by Theodore Q. Rorschalk at
7:36 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home