Theodore's Ace in the hole

Many of you may have been wondering how I, the Rorschalk, was going to rid myself of the scourge of the interlopers onto the scene of TQR. And here it is! But our work here is not yet done, friends and countrymen and expatriats and bloody enemies of all that is holy. No! In order for this to work, you the investors have to invest, and not just time this bleeding time, but also money. Cash on the nail, as one says. Chalk it up to my 30 pieces of silver moment, Without you, I may actually be bought out by these corporate nincompoops, this Vanderbilt wannabe, Rockefeller! Since when during these last 3 years have I ever begged you for anything but stolid readership and steady feedback? So, now I am asking you in spades for your greenback!

Ahem. You must understand how unpalatable this all is, my scraping and bowing for every last penny, but my skin and soul and existence being at stake, I am not too proud. And believe me, it is a worthwhile investment. It is, in facts that encumber my insatiable mind, the eighth (not to mention ninth and tenth and half of the eleventh) wonder of the world! Yes. Click on that monkey up above! Touch the monkey!
And remember,

... if you don't buy the book, I am toast and jam.