TQR Confidential

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Alan Swyer sways the judges to his side of town

Hello Alan,

Got your cap, examined it, dug it. Love the baseball theme with Castro added. Some wild shit. Nice. I'm going to move you on to the next level. May the Gods goose your ass, write that down.

Keep it unreal,

Boligard Doomey / the Floor / www.tqrstories.com

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Wherein Rorschalk & Boligard obliquely profess their love...

BOLIGARD: stop giving me the fantasy cap. give it to DeP. i want western and dirty detective!

ha. i wish.

but, no, really, if there's an option, steer fantasy DeP's way because crafters outputting fantasy these days are stupid, with a capital fucking d. anyway, haven't checked out the cap yet, just wanted to chime in. smiles. hugs to the clan. work on a meeting, you lazyass som'bitch.

RORSCHALK: But our chat room is no more ... how are we going to meet? Yeah. I read a bit of it and it isn't very good. Sorry! But you never know when you're going to get an outlier! It could have been magic and youda missed out. Hugs and kisses back at you. Hey. Just by the by, I happened across Rocky Horror Picture Show on a free HBO weekend last week and was able to watch without all those idiots acting out their bullshit in the theater. Something about that movie is magic. Tim Curry is just the best, man. All right. Just thought you might be onto it, too and we could bond across the ethernet in some way. Ciao.

[5 MINUTES LATER]

I guess we could meet here on gmail chat. Right? You no likie gmail though, so don't have an address. that may be a problem. Get a damn gmail account again you dumb sumbitch.

BOLIGARD: ner. i', talking about us meeting up. der.

RORSCHALK: Oh yeah. We're not getting any younger as they say. Have you seen Tim Curry lately? Long way from his Frank-n-Furter days. I can barely drink a six pack without passing out anymore neither! Shit. Skins all going dry and loose on me. What's a mother fucker to do? We'll get together then, son. You know we'll have a good time then...

BOLIGARD: Tim? Shit. We have supper theater every other Tuesday. Dress up and act out alternate scenes from movies we dig. Like, last Tuesday, I dressed up all Deb and reworked some Sean Penn from his retard movie. Then Curry went all Brando on Three Men and a Baby. It was gwawesome. Then we ate some nice pasta and gravy. And then we had a brief hoodoo ceremony, and then we went for a vodka run, hey. Yeah. Good times.

Nice song reference. Though I really don't ever want to hear that song again. must be more cap. i will take fantasy. sorry i riled against the crap earlier. i need cap. hungry like the wolf.

Listening to Primas(sic) and the Chocolate Factory right now. S'killer.

ya dumb sombitch.

...

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Slow quarter so far, as far as cap goes. But, after Boli's antiquated DURAN DURAN homage, a cap FIDEL AND ME was pushed through our transom and the wolf of TQR was fed... meanwhile, the Rorschalk has given himself over to absolute pleasure because he likes the way the fishnets caress his unrelentingly aging skin... Dep is currently AWOL, probably off dancing around naked in the forest for Wotan again...]

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

LETHARIO's got Boligard by the nads...

Howdy Fredrick.

The cap you sent us made my balls tingle. You're in.

Love,

Boligard Doomey / the Floor / www.tqrstories.com

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Britson does jpeg and Patti Smith

Theodore Q. Rorschalk: Congratulations Mr. Britson,

You're in. I'd like to cut that scene where Ms. Iowa jumps on him from out of the tree. Later on there's another scene just like it and it's just unneccesary, as I recall. I've only read Executioner once so far. Loved it, but for that scene that seemed confusing and redundant. What do you say?

Gary Britson: Feel free to cut where you deem necessary.

Theodore Q. Rorschalk: It's just that one scene I think. So, if you could send me a bio and a jpeg of yourself, as well as a little write-up of how TEG came to be. Mailing address, too. I'll have a contract out to you shortly.[Editor's Note: Upon a second reading, the scene was NOT cut]

Gary Britson: I don’t know what a jpeg is.

[Editor's Note: After consulting his wife, he came back later in the day with the goods}

....I’ll send a jpeg shortly.

Theodore Q. Rorschalk:. Thank you, Gary. May I call you Gary? Anyhow. I grew up in Cedar Falls, Iowa so it's really nice to get some local color getting going from way back when. I really get a kick out of your characters. What's that one Cooties Lumbago? Ha. I can't help but chuckle every time I read that name. Great job, sir. Thank you very much. I'll probably want to interview that Lumbago character for the insider trading dealio that we sometimes do. So put on your Lumbago hat when the time comes, OK?

[4 DAYS LATER]

I sent $50 last week. I'm worried that I didn't wrap enough pieces of paper around it to hide it. Did you get it yet?

Gary Britson: Yes, it arrived yesterday. Thank you very much. I’m having it framed as the first money I’ve received for a story.

Are you a Patti Smith fan? I picked up her new book yesterday. A bit dull, I’m afraid.

Theodore Q. Rorschalk: Ha. Well then, I guess I should have wrote you a check! Anyhow. Glad it didn't get stolen. Don't know much about Patti Smith. And old rock-n-roller, maybe? I'm currently just getting over Pink Floyd and getting into Megadeth. It goes in cycles. Next year it will be Gordon Lightfoot again.

Gary Britson: Quite some time ago, Patti recorded an album entitled Horses, which was well received by critics. She won the National Book Award three or four years ago for “Just Kids” which details her coming to New York in the mid sixties and becoming friends with photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. It’s worth reading. She has achieved success as a singer although she can’t actually sing. Horses is worth a listen or two, particularly her rendition of Gloria.