TQR Confidential

Saturday, May 30, 2009

TQR UPDATE 05-30-2009

Theodore Rorschalk to Benjamin, Boligard, bulldust, Gabrielle, Lalo, maggie, Terry

Last night I finally figured out how to open boli's wpd document so that I could put up his review of "The Absence." Actually, my wife figured it out. Behind every great man, and all that, right? Anyhow, I was checking the user stats as I was doing this last night and at one point, we had 467 users on at one time! So, that's a record as far as I've seen. Even in this down time, people are logging on. I like the idea of taking a quarter each year for reviews. It gives us all a little down time. So, we'll be back in business July 15th. Don't be afraid to drop by the FREE MARKET and drop us a line.

founder and CEO of Total Quality Reading, LLC

BULLDUST to Theodore

congratulations gaffer! up up and away and all that.

Boligard Doomey to John, me, Benjamin, Gabrielle, Lalo, maggie, Terry

fuck me. i am a dumb ass. i had ideas -- no i had dreams that u couldn't use my damn review. and so what do i do? i don't log on and check out the news. stupid boligard. i am so glad ur wifey figured it out. and let me tell u, if u do make it to seattle, i would be more than happy to let u buy me and my wife dinner. yeah! hell, i'd be more than happy to let u buy me and my wife lunch and dinner. and then maybe u could buy us some hangover breakfast? dude! that would be too cool. however, true to my word (as boligard) we prob shouldn't talk about writing. i hate writers. hah. when do we rev this shit up a notch, anywhat? when does the next quarter start?

luv to u, urs and theirs


ps i refuse to send the next chap of tla until u tell me its needed. maybe noone is reading it. maybe it is unneeded. might be we should start a new serial based on...?

Theodore Rorschalk to Boligard

Yeah. The damn camper van we bought is a piece of shit. It's been at the mechanic's for over a week now being made interstate safe and all that. I barely made it back to Albuquerque in the lemon from where we picked it up in Las Cruces. But it was cheap and I guess you get what you pay for. The mechanic had a list two pages long of things that needed fixing and the damn thing is going to cost me as much getting fixed as we bought it for. But... I still think it has promise and potential and all that and will drive it to Seattle one of these days if it doesn't breakdown backing out of our driveway.

As to TLA, it's kind of gotten lost on page 2. Anything that needs to be read in e-zinedom really needs to be on the front page. We've been marketing TLA all wrong. It needs to be reintroduced on the homepage, a permanent button thingie kind of like our TOUCHING THE MONKEY antho. So... I'll work on that. We should roll it out again from Part 1 on through however many you got. Let me know if you got any ideas on how you want it presented on Page 1.

Yours truly

Gabrielle DePlancher to Boligard, John, me, Benjamin, Lalo, maggie, Terry

Well, well..it's good to know that we will be awakened again from this long sleep. DeP's clothes are gettin all wrinkly with her sitting around in the closet.

Yay! for men with wives who know how to fix stuff.

I must go and read something somewhere.

p.s. in Canada, there are a few leaves on the trees now and all the tiny people have taken off their parkas. It is a good feeling, just so you know.

Sally Sardine

Lalo Telling to Gabrielle, Boligard, John, me, Benjamin, maggie, Terry


The cat has been a busy virtual boy, off and on -- including, most
recently, a promising in-world romance. More germane to this chain
mail, the mention in his profile of his association with TQR (and a
link to the site) has *finally* been noticed by another writer. Thus,
his claws have been kept sharp by reading said writer's drafts and
offering suggestions. Good news: so far, he has not spoiled the
friendship by being too negative.

Not so good news, regarding the man behind the cat: I have joined
hundreds of thousands of others as an unemployment statistic.
Fortunately -- being a tightwad raised on the fable of the Grasshopper
and the Ant -- I will not be in any kind of straits, dire or
otherwise, for at least a year. Maybe the economy's karmic wheel will
have turned upward by then... maybe the horse will learn to sing. *

Meanwhile, I have time on my hands (as does the cat, on his paws). I
will be more than ready to take, and take apart, whatever Boli sends
up the pneumatic tube. Do I interpret correctly that the Terminal's
re-opening is scheduled for August 15?

A good and relaxing summer to you all ~


* -- Somewhere within the Pale, during the Tsar's annual tour through
his empire, a scruffy peasant was apprehended while paying a little
too much covetous attention to one of the Tsar's horses. Dragged
ignominiously -- and not at all gently -- before the despot himself,
this quick-witted peasant claimed that he was not about to abscond
with the animal; rather, that as the Tsar's personal mounts were
renowned for their intelligence as well as their beauty, and that this
one particularly evidenced wisdom in its gaze and the thoughtful way
it ruminated at the trough, he (the peasant) was overcome with the
inspiration to teach the horse to sing, thereby bringing even greater
renown to His Excellency.

The Tsar, not without his own wit, chuckled and offered a deal. "I
will leave this horse in your care for a year, until I next visit this
shtetl. In that year, you are forbidden to leave, and I charge the
constable to make sure that you do not. When I return, the horse will
sing, or you will swing as a common thief."

Not long after the Tsar's departure and a glass or three of vodka, the
peasant's drinking cronies collectively asked, "Perchik, what.. are
you crazy?"

Perchik replied, "Nu? A year is a long time, a lot can happen. The
Tsar may die, the horse may die, or I may die. Or," he shrugged with
a gaze heavenward, "maybe the horse will learn to sing."

Boligard Doomey to Lalo, Gabrielle, John, me, Benjamin, maggie, Terry

august 15? no way. i was thinking more along the lines of june something-or-other. not sure i can deal with anymore down time. getting all shaky.

sorry to hear of the lack of employ, lay low. but hey, u'r ur own man now, eh? nobody telling u what to do! that's right! yeah!

hey, ted. i don't see any front page thingie. but u'r the boss, and whatever u decide is the right thing to do is fine by me. and if you turn around and bend over i could actually kiss ur ass for reals.
hi DeP. say hello to the little people 4 me.

Theodore Rorschalk to Boligard, Lalo, Gabrielle, John, Benjamin, maggie, Terry

Hello you all,

Sorry to hear about your recent bad luck lalo. The worm will turn, and in the meanwhile, you can commiserate with a new friend, eh? Anyhow. I'm just sayin'. And yes, you are correct about that August 15 Terminal opening. We'll be starting in on the Fall issue on July 15th with the opening of the Floor.

Fall Issue: July 15 thru September 15


EDITOR’S NOTE: The Fall issue will be open to submissions from July 15 to August 15, but will--for the capital managers and brokers involved--span the 3 month period twixt July 15 and October 15.