TQR Confidential

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Gut's SOME SKETCHES OF COUNTRY LIFE gains Terminal access

Bonjour, Monsieur Gutierrez:

It's a fine thing to witness the steadiness of spirit required to submit a pretty bird for consideration by the delicate minds occupying the dank premises that serve as TQR Headquarters, Somewhere on Earth.

Merci, for your recent (and imagery strange) submission, Some Sketches of Country Life. Merci et merci.

The Dirty Monkey sits now on the window sill, tail twitching. Teeth chattering. I cannot see his eyes clearly from here but it appears to me that he may either be crying or about to faint. Probably, he will not sleep tonight for the nightmares evoked from my reading aloud from the text your cap, your tale of a Stick Man.

Oddity sticks to the tiles of The Floor here, Monsieur. After today, I can't help what may come, but you know that and you are no doubt prepared.

Now with my glass rainbow wand I do declare that Some Sketches of Country Life rises to a predicament of peril or praise meted in accordance with determinations deemed to either make sense or none at all by the frenzied folk freaking out in The Terminal.

Let's see what happens.

Merci for taking the chance on TQR.

Your restless reader,

G. DePlancher

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Gabby Deplancher's rejections worth twice their weight in gold!

Bonjour, Mlle D:

Thank you for your recent submission, the murderful "Cotton", for consideration by our astute team here in the dank halls of TQR.

Indeed, your manuscript, cher brave VC, displays aspects of worthiness and there is no doubt in this reader's somewhat chaotic albeit perpetually alert mind that the sinister plot of "Cotton" was conjured up by a skilled crafter.

That admitted, I cannot recommend it for further scrutiny by my colleagues, the ruthless carnivores occupying the den-bearing-a-faulty-thermostat...aka The Terminal...for your cap in its current state would be sentenced without delay to the unwashed gallows that lurks in the shadows there.

Work on it. That is my advice. A few hints for consideration: submit no cap to TQR [or anywhere else!] with naked spelling errors or banal inconsistencies. "college" not "collage", "peeling" not "pealing"...par example. Oh. Mais oui. Such stuff takes away from even the holiest of submissions. Why? Because there is no excuse for them. Add: "Rider" "Ryder" to the list.

Quaere: how does killer twin gain access to the safety deposit box post mortem?

You have three quarters of a decent cap here, not enough to tickle the tail of the Great Monkey, in my humble opinion. Clean it thoroughly if you care enough about the piece.

Not this time, dear VC, but we are grateful for your submission and hope to hear from you again.

Best words awaken visions,

G. DePlancher The Floor, TQR


And the VC responds...


Thank you for this. Best reject I ever got! It made me laugh.

Yikes! I missed typos and spelling errors. That IS inexcusable - give me a gun and I will shoot myself right now. They occurred because I only proofread it 99 times before I submitted it. I just know that if I'd proofread it that 100th time, I would have caught those!

In answer to your question about how the twin gained access to the safe deposit box - good point, but in this particular case, I don't think it would need to be elaborated on for the reader. They were pretty close as sisters - twins tend to be especially close - and neither of them are married or with a significant other, so it wouldn't be a stretch that the other sister had a spare key to it or that she would have easily gained access to it through probate after the other sister's death.

That being said, since you did have a question on it, it stands to reason that another reader or editor might, so I'll probably work in something about her having a spare key, or some such.

Thank you again Gabrielle. I really do appreciate the feedback.