Doomey pulls up the Floorboards and installs nice see-through blocks of tempered glass.

dear ted,

what i am doing now on the Floor? ha ha. those VCs will not like it one bit, me thinks. you like?

kneelingly,

dooms

The Gift of Joy shortlisted by British Sci/Fi Association

Hi, TQR,

Just thought you might like to look at the following couple of links, both of which list the shortlists for this year's BSFA awards. You might find them interesting. I certainly did (particularly as I'm the editor and publisher of disLOCATIONS).

Link #1

Link #2

Best,

Ian Whates
www.newconpress.com
***

Mr. Whates,

This is outstanding news! Congratulations and thank you for bringing this to my attention. I don't think we've had a piece nominated for anything in the three years of our existence, until now that is. I'd say you have a good shot at taking some pleasure in the winner of the short fiction category, seeing as how you're in (one way or another) three times. Good work, sir. When do they announce the winners?

Best,

TQR

Boligard in the Loony Bin?

He's had an imaginary friend for quite some time. Case in point, his latest trip to Seattle for to see this so-called friend, Slavens. He didn't know I had tailed him there, and took myself undercover as an Arab cabbie. When I picked him up, he was having a converstation with ... himself. Although, I'm sure he'd tell you he was talking to Slavens. Tis a sad thing when someone close to you takes a dive off the high board and lands directly in Crazy.

Fact: today he sent me this through the mail—


yeah, um, well, ted, there's a small prob, but i figure you can fun with it. i am off to my dear mamas this weekend, and she informs me that her computer is on the wack. so i am thinking boligard is going to be a few days late getting back to TQR. he he. hope this isn't a huge problem, should work out. i see there's already some cap on the cherrywood, but boli can deal with that when he returns, eh? i will be back on tuesday, and so will boligard. i swear it! sorry. i will try and find a computer that works to do some jouraling, but that's not a promise. c u soon. and don't forget to pick on the bull.

Who does he think he is ... Bob Dole! Bob Dole will be back on Tuesday. Bob Dole likes Chaquita bananas. Mmmmm. Bob Dole will crush those stinking dems... You see what I'm saying about the third person thing? I don't know what has finally set him off. I know he was reading a horrific novel before he left for Seattle. Something about venison and veal calves. Or is it calfs? Or Calfi?I don't know, but that's beside the point. I may have to commit him. And what does he mean but i figure you can have fun with it.??

A short span of days upon the earth and what do you get? Another day older and filled with regret and insanity is all that rages against the dying of the light. Not to mention that bum that barfed on me. It was nefarious! But what can you do? I suggest you pray for Boligard. That's where I'll be.

Archi Delivers the Goods!

Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door will open, ask and it will be given! What was lost has been found and the first shall be last and ... yeah. I've found religion and my god is The Architext. Who in its great wisdom and mercy has taken the time to deliver unto me the sacred image of our original monkey, which I shall know share with you.
Ain't it cool? You see, I have a mind to use this image for the front cover of our upcoming 3-year anthology, which will take the lit world by storm! The hammer of the Gods, and all that. The problem will be cropping this photo to fit onto the cover of a paperback book, eh? No biggie. It shall be done.

The Architext Replies!

You see, I've been grubbing about for a suitable image for our upcoming anthology, and hit upon the idea of using our very first Monkey cover, which had been supplied us by our creator The Architext! Being something of a foolish lout, I had deleted that original cover, sent it on its way to cyberoblivion, where it is somewhere spinning in a black vacuum just north of Alpha Centauri with that crazy man in the Prometheus probe with his return visions of bikini-clad babes in Switzerland ... or something. Anyhow. I used my great powers of location to send out a message to our once and future thing, The Architext (who had long ago left us to conquer new worlds), and asked it about that original monkey. And lo, it replied!

I'm a low-level software goon in the finance world now. I can spin a few random capitalism-related phrases your way if you're interested, like credit default swap valuation, or photon nanotube high-viscosity therbigulator. Of course, as a socialist-communist-libertarian, I'm taking the place down from the inside, ala Homer Simpson and his nuclear panner plant. Anyway, I think I can find the monkey but it will take a few hours. How could you delete it? :[ <-- that is supposed to be a grimace

I check in on TQR every now and then. Seems to be thriving more or less. I always dig the minkies. I'll see what I can do when I get the chantsz.

Wait, did you say "book cover"???

Cheers, Archi