TQR Confidential

Monday, July 17, 2006

Dark Ops, "Dust"y Dispositions

If you are wandering the Free Market district of TQR this quarter and feel a little lost, you are not alone! Owing to a few tweaks and hemlines being taken in, the environs down there have been radically changed.

First off, the Queen's Rump was pulled up by its rotten foundations and plopped down by the river on the "other side of the tracks" so that the oftentimes ribald and inappropriate behavior that passes for normal in there will not be a hindrance to the serious work that goes on in the staid TQR office complex and industrial park. I would personally like to thank the United States Coast Guard for providing the double-prop SeaKing helos (or whatever they were called) that were needed to make this move a reality. After the haul, we settled in for a bit o' the grog and some splendid sea chanty singing. Those Coasties! I will have you know, they can party. My poor post-Coastie liver can attest to that. Anyhow. For you lost souls who are still in desperate need to a road map to the Rump, all you need do now is go to the LOGIN/OUT button on the bottom menu (it's the only button on the bottom menu) and provide yourself with a username and password. Once this bit of business is taken care of, all you need do is sign-in with these two valuable bits of info, and then click on the Free Market, and viola! you are down by the woods and the river and the Rump is there, beckoning with the strong stench of Boligar-- errrr, Bolidust's brain droppings in the air, not to mention a few Bulldust patties and the insufferable vestiges of poison gas lingering on the breeze from the inexorable Ghost of Stable Boy. I would say something like "Relinquish hope, all ye who enter here" but it's really not so bad, and if you went through the trouble of humping it all the way down here to "the other side of the tracks" then you're not just going to turn around and head back to the Safe Houses of the city.

Secondly, this quarter is "dark" in that all portraiture of the characters you have come to know and love will not be on display with any of their posts due to the influx of new staff who I have not been able to procure "faces" for yet. In essence, it is a show of solidarity with Bull and Ray, who have both been given "dust" surnames this quarter so that we may all be reminded of our ultimate destination. Selah. Yes, the old dust-to-dust gambit may not be a pretty actuality for most of us, but actuality it is, and I thought maybe we could all join in the fun with our self-servings and all become 'dust's afterall. Many of you will call me a stark, raving lunatic, and I will not dissabuse of this notion. Let's just hope the VC are not scared away by my madness. You see, it is Haldust3000's ever-staring yellow eye that, I think, has driven me to this... If only I could execute the bugger and bury him/it beneath the floorboards. Argh.

Sincerely, management
Total Quality Dust


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