Hosted Today Sucks my Left Testicle

Getting into the office today is a 50/50 proposition. Half the time I get that blasted TQR is currently down sign which then tells me to contact the damned administrator... I AM THE ADMINISTRATOR! And if I can't get in the door, how the hell is anybody going to be able to contact me. I can hear the phone ringing through the ill-fitting door. It's freaking ringing off the hook because there's no way to access TQR! Soon, it will stop ringing for good. The investor's will become fed up with our faulty towers. It's eating me up inside! I hate our current hosting service. They always brush me off in their bad English with "Heavy e-mail overburdened the servers, if you please. So sorry." Damn them! Come this time next year, we will have a new host, and that's guaranteed. Until then, please tolerate our dodgy service. It will get better in the future.