TQR Confidential

Thursday, February 19, 2015

THE SPUD sent for thawing in the Terminal ... Hip hip hurrah!

Bonjour, Monsieur Sapp:

You surely must be a dancing fool to submit such a cap as The Spud for a jewel of an e-zine such as our TQR to consider. Your irreverence has stricken me. Your dog no doubt barks late into the night, too, while you chuckle yourself into some dreamscape unimaginable to those of thin walls and yellow stains on their jackets.

Your thing, The Spud, drew me in. I followed that mad protag of yours wherever he led. Oui, I nearly slipped once during the toilet scene with all the panic and grunting and quick thinking action for the sake of Frank, souvenirs, and helping one's fellow idol.

Surely you are mad. WWFZT? Hmmm?

Anyway, it's late. I'm only writing to be polite, so that you don't have to wonder what happened and what happens now. This: I laughed. The Monkey passed gas. Twice. His tail twitched. A lot. We both checked our pockets and the deep freeze on The Floor. We want this piece of....cap to advance.

I sent The Spud for thawing to my colleagues in the Terminal. Let's see what they think of this wonder turd, um...great work. I would say 'I LOVE it', but I can't say I love caps. You understand. It's a somber business.

Suffice it to say that your scuzzy mind has brought great joy to The Floor and for this I do thank you.

Merci beaucoup for your interest in TQR. I hope the Terminali review Spud favourably and do not merely demolish your water closet. Bonne chance!

A bientot,

G. DePlancher / The Floor / TQR

Monday, February 16, 2015

Doomey's reductio in absurdem of ABDUCTION


so, hey, rik, thanks for sending along your dungeons and dragons plotline. s'cool and all. nice fucking craft, by the way. yep and yeah. but, yeah, i will not be pushing this up...because, yeah, this did not touch the monkey for reasons of worldliness, and no, not really that, but rather the lack there of. lit, today, is about unreal/real shit. and what lit does is trigger emotion, it makes us fucking weep, man. and it makes us fall on the floor with laughter. i do like cute. as in "cute". but...but, i like "cute" a little less than than i like soft porn. up on my list is unreality. and by unreality, i mean reality. and, follow me, by reality, i mean fuck all. i love a comic line, and i love a dramatic line. but i do not like a dramatic line sans the comedic. and i fucking hate the comedic line going full bore without a damn death scene, savvy?

s'me, i fucking know. ask anyone else...submit to anyone else and you are fucking Flint, right? but, hey, yeah, you know.

this business is aweful, but you'll do fine. it's us, the staff, who're doomed, fucked. thanks for giving us a chance to publish Abduction. you'll be picked by some other mag. truth.

truth. stand on your street and look each person that passes you in the eye. and smile.

peace bitch,

Boligard Doomey / the Floor / www.tqrstories.com

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Doomey wrestles with VC's Joycean bear trap...

Hey Mike,

Examined the capital you sent us, liked the crafting, was pretty sure that you didn't actually ever manage to finish it and that you sent it anyway just to piss us off, so I decided I should probably Porthole it, and then I examined it again, and I became convinced you were trying to pull a fast one, maybe a Joycean beartrap, wasn't sure what you were pulling, but I was sure something was being pulled, and then I examined your cap again and I decided the crafting was too good to let it slip through our ever-shaking, tar-stained fingers, so I've decided to send it up to the Terminal, may the gods help your soured fate, but, anywhat, yeah, dude, you're going to the show, Mike.

Keep it unreal,

Boligard Doomey / the Floor / www.tqrstories.com

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Haynes' MICHIGAN WILDCAT tames Dep's inner cougar ...

Bonjour, Tony Haynes:

Many thanks for recently gracing us with your submission, The Michigan Wildcat, for consideration by our now flashy first rate e-zine, TQR. You are a brave one to enter here, sir.

For me, one of the signs that a piece is comprised of some substance is that its character(s), setting, style...SOMEthing lingers after I've invested time in reading it. Adolphus, the spirit of your Wildcat, lingers. That the Monkey remained awake for the entire read...a hairy compliment to a VC within these dank walls...is also a good sign.

Let's see what the wolves upstairs think. You must beware, their teeth have been known to inflict considerable damage. Eat your vitamins.

Watch for commentary onsite when The Terminal commences its deliberations sometime after the 15th.

May the twitch of the Monkey's tail be with you.

A bientot!

G. DePlancher / The Floor / TQR

Sent while levitating from my own Bright Cloud.

Friday, February 06, 2015

BEAUTIFUL CREEP's no creme de la creme

Bonjour, Mlle Denton,

Many thanks for your recent submission, Beautiful Creep, for considering by TQR.

Good title. I like it.

The piece itself, the Monkey says a resounding 'non! ' and I have to agree. There's a spark, but not a hit. Odd friendship. Misunderstood character. Anti-heroism...and the title....these are the skeletal aspects that exist for you to develop. Do it. Then see what happens.

Merci et bientot!

G. DePlancher The Floor TQR

Sent while levitating from my own Bright Cloud.