Matthew St. Amand's new Venture

An old writer chum of mine has recently published a novel: Randham Acts. His last effort, As My Sparks Fly Upward was a very good debut, so this one should be well worth your while. At least check out his Web site, will yuz?

My mama said, to get things done, you better not mess with Major Tom

The lines of a pop song sang so long ago (or was it yesterday?) by David Bowie. Which leads me on, leads me down the proverbial road of metaphorical exegesis...so listen here:

There are worlds within worlds within peach pits and canolis. Absurdism is the refuge of scoundrels. The quantum world is nowhere near reality, but it is the stuff of reality. You are nothing if not waves of energy save solid matter. If you were solid, you'd weigh so much you'd sink to the earth's core, where you'd be melted down to base elements. Or maybe you'd be the singularity that finally blows it all to hell. But who the hell is Major Tom, then: a gollum in the gears?; a manifestation of the grim reaper?; somebody who used to sell Mr. Bowie yummy chocolate ice cream drumsticks?

Regardless! The time is now. And even though time is a ball of wax being chewed on by a termite ... who's choking on the splinters, it's all we've got. And my mind goes back to a girl I met so long ago ... who told me E=MC2 is actually saying that matter not only has the potential to create energy, but it is, in fact, ENERGY ITSELF!

What a waste to end up on the ash heap after so many obscure and tawdry travails. Therefore, Major Tom has opted to hang out in heaven's, putting off the inevitable with zero gravity and junk, thereby hitting the lyrically absolute 'all time low'. Fuck the junk! Fate favors the bold, not the somnambulant. Dig? Get out there and rock and roll the bones.

However, all is hevel. And resistance is futile. So on and so forth ... never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, give up.

VC of Double Occupancy, Daniel Pearlman: Found!

I've had an APB out for this guy for about a week now due to my inability to contact him with his Rhode Island U. e-mail addy. So, I figured I'd send him his $$ and that would get him off the dime. As that Cabaret queer-o Joel Grey used to say, "Money makes the world go 'roun." Here's the gmail he sent me, sans e-mails addys. I'm all about protecting the VC's privacy, yo.


Dear TQR guy,

Thank you for accepting "Double Occupancy" for your summer issue.
Please inform me when the issue appears.

I'm surprised you had a problem sending me an email at &&&&&&&&&&
However, my other email address is

*&#(*&#(#)(%#*%^@%#

Either one should work. Try both. I look forward to getting the
contract. I do, in fact, have on my computer an electronic signature, if needed.

By the way, I'm amazed that you've already paid me. No one usually
does anymore till months after publication.

May TQR long thrive!


==Dan Pearlman

Insider Trading Testimonial: Joseph D'Lacey

I got this gmail after interviewing the character of Henry Grantham from the CG The Closer. Thought it was a nice testimonial not only for the IT, but the entire publication.

Theodore,

Interviewing characters from your quarterly showcase is Brilliant. It really adds depth. You're onto something good here and I was glad to be part of it.

My thanks to you and your staff,

José

Paging Vermestus Flump

OK. So a while ago in one of my blogs I went on a tirade about how I'm just typing to the universe, and the universe is mostly empty space and full of nothing but. You know, like nobody and their non-existent mother is even reading this shit. And I get a response from some hillbilly-sounding cracker named Vermestus Flump who says I oughtta just cool down and relax a bit more because he/she is reading my blog and enjoying it, but is just not the 'responding' type most times. Anyhow. After about half a year of no responses, I need some more Flump, dig? Just a voice out there telling me this is not all being done in vain, that someone, any-fucking-one is listening! Oh God before this too-solid flesh melts and I am returned to dust, I pray my words the investors to after lust. Amen.

Reaction!?

Dark Ops, "Dust"y Dispositions

If you are wandering the Free Market district of TQR this quarter and feel a little lost, you are not alone! Owing to a few tweaks and hemlines being taken in, the environs down there have been radically changed.

First off, the Queen's Rump was pulled up by its rotten foundations and plopped down by the river on the "other side of the tracks" so that the oftentimes ribald and inappropriate behavior that passes for normal in there will not be a hindrance to the serious work that goes on in the staid TQR office complex and industrial park. I would personally like to thank the United States Coast Guard for providing the double-prop SeaKing helos (or whatever they were called) that were needed to make this move a reality. After the haul, we settled in for a bit o' the grog and some splendid sea chanty singing. Those Coasties! I will have you know, they can party. My poor post-Coastie liver can attest to that. Anyhow. For you lost souls who are still in desperate need to a road map to the Rump, all you need do now is go to the LOGIN/OUT button on the bottom menu (it's the only button on the bottom menu) and provide yourself with a username and password. Once this bit of business is taken care of, all you need do is sign-in with these two valuable bits of info, and then click on the Free Market, and viola! you are down by the woods and the river and the Rump is there, beckoning with the strong stench of Boligar-- errrr, Bolidust's brain droppings in the air, not to mention a few Bulldust patties and the insufferable vestiges of poison gas lingering on the breeze from the inexorable Ghost of Stable Boy. I would say something like "Relinquish hope, all ye who enter here" but it's really not so bad, and if you went through the trouble of humping it all the way down here to "the other side of the tracks" then you're not just going to turn around and head back to the Safe Houses of the city.

Secondly, this quarter is "dark" in that all portraiture of the characters you have come to know and love will not be on display with any of their posts due to the influx of new staff who I have not been able to procure "faces" for yet. In essence, it is a show of solidarity with Bull and Ray, who have both been given "dust" surnames this quarter so that we may all be reminded of our ultimate destination. Selah. Yes, the old dust-to-dust gambit may not be a pretty actuality for most of us, but actuality it is, and I thought maybe we could all join in the fun with our self-servings and all become 'dust's afterall. Many of you will call me a stark, raving lunatic, and I will not dissabuse of this notion. Let's just hope the VC are not scared away by my madness. You see, it is Haldust3000's ever-staring yellow eye that, I think, has driven me to this... If only I could execute the bugger and bury him/it beneath the floorboards. Argh.

Sincerely, management
Total Quality Dust

4TW by Nita Farmer: more weird submission stuff

Do you think FUK and Nita are related? Anyhow. Strangeness is afoot. The site is acting up (Gabrielle cannot post on the Floor this morning for some confounded reason). Stable boy's legacy is threatening Rump deconstruction. How will it all end? Stay tuned. Meanwhile, here is the aforementioned and unabridged 4TW:

"Just don't forget to give me the order," Tender wheezed. He was all
shame or great honor. Stand to Center for Honor was the way the gulls'
know my opinion of the incomparable Godi Muller?"
of the Visitation!"

Eh? What light from yonder window, tis not.

FUK: Strangest Submission to date

This came down the vacuum tube with a genuinely odd clunk. And it bore no attachment nor bio nor explanation, but only these cryptic words (tis it some kind of poem?).

somewhere around here, then there wouldn't even be a little damp spot left
are a very fast flier, aren't you?"
back. I turned him this way and that, but there was nothing. I looked back
the peak of the Great Mountain Wind. Beyond a few hundred feet, I can lift

Of course, I had to gmail the sender a rejection out of hand informing her that we only accept attached venture yada blah blah.

No repsonse from her yet, but I'm crossing my fingers.

Boligard 3 ... Rorschalk nil

Good thing this is a best out of 537 game series! Otherwise, I'd be worried. So. Here is the script. A bit is shaved off the top due to my raging 2-year-old having attacked my keyboard and booted me out of the metaversal dojo, thus the script was erased from where I was last uncorporeal. Or whatever. Anyhow. It was another humiliating dealio. Thank goodness I only have to go through this another 259-odd times. Btw, I entered the dojo under the guise of 'spasky' (then 'spazky' after my son had booted me from the dojo for a second time) in hopes the name would give me power to open up a can of chesh whupass. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

[20:21 doomey] i got your stupid move, pops
[20:21 Guest_spasky] I'm channeling Boris ... hot dog!
[20:21 Guest_spasky] I'm drinking Coors Extra Gold tonite.
[20:22 doomey] e6
[20:22 Guest_spasky] Did you move?
[20:22 Guest_spasky] Got your move!
[20:22 doomey] i am drinkong bohemias and pacificos tonight
[20:22 doomey] drinkong
[20:22 doomey] hah
[20:23 Guest_spasky] e3
[20:23 doomey] i got yer damn move, yo
[20:23 Guest_spasky] I'm one move ahead of you, mate.
[20:23 doomey] c5
[20:24 Guest_spasky] What's your ketchup one?
[20:24 Guest_spasky] Got your move.
[20:24 Guest_spasky] And it is an early force, might I add.
[20:24 Guest_spasky] The boy needs 'juice'. Sam, that is. BRb with a killer move.
[20:25 doomey] okay
[20:26 Guest_spasky] n3f
[20:26 Guest_spasky] hvnjn
[20:26 doomey] got yer move
[20:27 doomey] getting the knights out
[20:27 doomey] nice, bro
[20:27 doomey] you have been practicing
[20:27 doomey] eh?
[20:28 Guest_spazky] Sam again.
[20:28 Guest_spazky] I gotta keep him off the keyboard.
[20:28 doomey] Nb6
[20:28 Guest_spazky] Now it's 3 against 1.
[20:28 doomey] now there's 3 of you spass
[20:29 Guest_spazky] Don't you mean c6?
[20:29 Guest_spazky] Nc6?
[20:29 Guest_spazky] Come one bra. Don't freak out like that.
[20:29 doomey] c6
[20:30 doomey] sorry sorry sorry
[20:30 Guest_spazky] Eh?
[20:30 doomey] Nc6 yes
[20:30 Guest_spazky] Ok
[20:30 Guest_spazky] got your move
[20:31 Guest_spazky] N5b
[20:32 doomey] got yer move
[20:32 doomey] ooh, yer getting into my shit, yo!
[20:32 Guest_spazky] got it?
[20:33 doomey] yer horse is yalping down on my right flank!
[20:33 Guest_spazky] You can conced now.
[20:33 Guest_spazky] And we can talk aobut other hsit
[20:33 Guest_spazky] Yo?
[20:34 doomey] Nf6
[20:34 Guest_spazky] I'm being coached by guest Spasky
[20:34 doomey] conced?
[20:34 doomey] you have downed a whole hell of a lot of coors, eh?
[20:34 Guest_spazky] got yer move
[20:35 Guest_spazky] b3 d
[20:36 Guest_spazky] yeah?
[20:36 Guest_spazky] got it?
[20:36 Guest_spazky] got it?
[20:36 Guest_spazky] Well... do ya?
[20:36 doomey] don't know what yer talking about, sister
[20:36 doomey] b3 d?
[20:37 Guest_spazky] Has your boy kicked you out of the dojo, too?
[20:37 doomey] i see nothing on b3
[20:37 Guest_spazky] Bishop 3d
[20:37 doomey] oh bishop
[20:37 Guest_spazky] No?
[20:37 doomey] okay
[20:37 doomey] got your move!
[20:37 Guest_spazky] You are ripe for the picking this day, sirrah.
[20:38 Guest_spazky] Or maybe I just blocked out my shit.
[20:38 Guest_spazky] Damn!
[20:38 Guest_spazky] Hey. No table talk!
[20:38 Guest_spazky] I'm sabotaging my own self.
[20:39 doomey] a6
[20:39 Guest_spazky] Got it?
[20:39 Guest_spazky] got your move.
[20:39 Guest_spazky] that's a pawn move, right?
[20:39 Guest_spazky] Lonely, lonely night.
[20:40 doomey] i will not be picked
[20:40 Guest_spazky] Oh shit, your harassing my horse.
[20:40 doomey] pawn yes
[20:40 Guest_spazky] hmmm
[20:40 Guest_spazky] do I retreat?
[20:40 Guest_spazky] do I stay or do I go?
[20:40 doomey] bumping up against your horse pervertedly
[20:40 Guest_spazky] Or use the horse as a diversion?
[20:41 doomey] why stay?
[20:41 doomey] what would be the point?
[20:41 doomey] pride, sir?
[20:41 doomey] gallop!
[20:42 doomey] you got kicked out again, eh? that little sammy
[20:42 doomey] he is such a devil
[20:42 Guest_spazky] N3 c
[20:43 doomey] got your move!
[20:43 Guest_spazky] =Actually
[20:43 Guest_spazky] I was just t5hinking
[20:43 Guest_spazky] and it wasn't working.
[20:43 Guest_spazky] You have backed me off.
[20:43 Guest_spazky] How much do I owe you for that?
[20:44 doomey] Bd6
[20:44 Guest_spazky] Hey, I made you move out your pawn. That could come back to haunt you.
[20:44 doomey] you owe me nothing for mulling over a move, sirah
[20:44 doomey] i salute you
[20:44 Guest_spazky] got yer move
[20:44 doomey] like ac/dc
[20:44 doomey] although
[20:44 Guest_spazky] Anticipating a castlingmaneuver, eh?
[20:45 Guest_spazky] bastard.
[20:45 doomey] you should not have moved that damn horse forward to start with, right?
[20:45 Guest_spazky] OK. I'll bite. Castle - kingside.
[20:45 doomey] unless you've devious plans
[20:45 Guest_spazky] Yo
[20:46 doomey] got!
[20:46 doomey] your!
[20:46 doomey] move!
[20:46 doomey] nice
[20:46 Guest_spazky] but that means it was a lonely, wasted move!
[20:46 doomey] you've built yourself quite the stronghold, sister
[20:46 Guest_spazky] the horse into enemy territory I mean. Oh well.
[20:47 Guest_spazky] I'm soon to bring out the killing machine - Q
[20:47 doomey] that was a lonely move
[20:47 doomey] hah
[20:47 Guest_spazky] Watch yersef.
[20:47 doomey] so now you've learned your lesson and you will not do it again, eh?
[20:48 Guest_spazky] How's the heat up there this week?
[20:48 Guest_spazky] No ... never!
[20:48 doomey] mild this week
[20:48 doomey] this weekend should be good
[20:48 doomey] last week was our heat wave
[20:48 doomey] as you know
[20:48 doomey] as i told you
[20:48 Guest_spazky] never...
[20:48 doomey] too frickin hot
[20:48 doomey] but it's a mild 70 now
[20:48 Guest_spazky] nevermore.
[20:48 doomey] breezy
[20:48 doomey] nice
[20:48 Guest_spazky] Nice!
[20:49 doomey] castle king side, yo
[20:49 Guest_spazky] Good cabbage sprinkling weather I vow.
[20:49 Guest_spazky] got yer move!
[20:49 Guest_spazky] We're in a Castillian Standoff.
[20:50 doomey] hah
[20:50 Guest_spazky] I'm thinking.
[20:50 Guest_spazky] thinking.
[20:50 Guest_spazky] Sam has settled down. He's sitting serenly on my lap.
[20:50 doomey] um
[20:50 doomey] hm
[20:50 Guest_spazky] It's quite touching.
[20:50 Guest_spazky] I think I booted him so often that he's learned how to behave and not get booted finally.
[20:51 Guest_spazky] Don't get all perverty.
[20:51 Guest_spazky] thinking.
[20:51 Guest_spazky] It's actually very sweet.
[20:51 Guest_spazky] No Humbert Humbert here, sir.
[20:51 doomey] he's tired
[20:51 doomey] maybe
[20:51 doomey] or maybe he's up to something
[20:52 Guest_spazky] He's got his two ham fists on my forearms as I type this.
[20:52 doomey] hah
[20:52 doomey] ham fists
[20:52 Guest_spazky] Yes. He could be up to something.
[20:52 Guest_spazky] Oh, he just went for the keyboard!
[20:52 doomey] watch your sack, bra
[20:52 Guest_spazky] Like a flash!
[20:52 Guest_spazky] I'm so far blocking him out successfully.
[20:52 doomey] nice
[20:52 Guest_spazky] Ever play that old game Missile Command?
[20:53 doomey] defense!
[20:53 Guest_spazky] It's sort lik that.
[20:53 doomey] defense!
[20:53 doomey] right
[20:53 Guest_spazky] Anyhow. I'm still thinking about the move!
[20:53 Guest_spazky] Can we call it a draw?
[20:53 doomey] sure you are
[20:53 doomey] what?!!!!!!
[20:54 doomey] no draw, sister!
[20:54 hautdesert] has joined the room.
[20:54 Guest_spazky] ha ha
[20:54 doomey] hot desert in the house!
[20:55 hautdesert] For a minute or two, anyway!
[20:55 Guest_spazky] hiya hautdesert, didn't you get the e-mail that ZH rehearsal had been cancelled?
[20:55 hautdesert] I figured I"d pop in and say hi.
[20:55 hautdesert] Yeah, I did.
[20:55 hautdesert]
[20:55 Guest_spazky] It's just me and B here trading blows.
[20:55 hautdesert] I was checking out the free market, too, since I hadn't been there a bit.
[20:55 hautdesert] Got kind of...agressive there, huh?
[20:55 Guest_spazky] Cool. I thought I forgot to mail you one.
[20:55 Guest_spazky] Don't worry. Stable Boy is toast.
[20:56 doomey] ted, as spass, is falling under my rook's crowning
[20:56 Guest_spazky] But you didn't hear it from me!
[20:56 hautdesert] Nope, you got one to me!
[20:56 Guest_spazky] You heard it from Spazky ... yeah. Spazky.
[20:56 Guest_spazky] See?
[20:56 hautdesert] Glad to hear it, about Stable Boy.
[20:56 doomey] the boy is toast?
[20:56 doomey] did you burn the barn, theo?
[20:56 Guest_spazky] Anyhow. I gotta move.
[20:56 hautdesert] Though--and I never said this--sb's companion I often find...a bit overboard for my taste. But that's me.
[20:57 hautdesert] So who's winning?
[20:57 Guest_spazky] I believe there is a cabal of murderers gunning for him.
[20:57 hautdesert] This does not surprise me in the least.
[20:57 Guest_spazky] It's kind of hard to tell right now. No blood so far.
[20:57 doomey] ha hah, bulldust is a special sort of character
[20:58 Guest_spazky] NxP7h
[20:58 Guest_spazky] x
[20:58 hautdesert] That he is, doomey.
[20:58 Guest_spazky] How you gonna get outta this one Doomey!
[20:58 Guest_spazky] Oh...
[20:59 Guest_spazky] Yeah...
[20:59 Guest_spazky] No great shakes.
[20:59 doomey] i gotta say, once again, i be lost
[20:59 doomey] your knight takes what?
[20:59 Guest_spazky] As to Bull being over the top. We need that sort of thing to get the blood flowing. I don't know.
[20:59 Guest_spazky] Pawn 7h
[21:00 Guest_spazky] I mean Bishop.
[21:00 Guest_spazky] I meant bishop.
[21:00 Guest_spazky] dang me.
[21:00 doomey] where was your knight, ted?
[21:00 doomey] oh bishop?
[21:00 Guest_spazky] got my move now, suchah?
[21:00 Guest_spazky] suckah?
[21:01 Guest_spazky] yeah?
[21:01 doomey] got your move, sirah
[21:01 doomey] first blood!
[21:01 Guest_spazky] suck it.
[21:01 doomey] you took first blood!
[21:01 Guest_spazky] x
[21:01 Guest_spazky] I had to break the cherry.
[21:01 Guest_spazky] I am the great spazky.
[21:02 doomey] Kxh7
[21:02 hautdesert] Yay, Ted!
[21:02 hautdesert] or spazky.
[21:02 Guest_spazky] Now just do what you must.
[21:02 doomey] he thought being spassky might add to his luck this time out
[21:02 Guest_spazky] got yer move!
[21:03 doomey] you get my move, ted?
[21:03 hautdesert] You never know.
[21:03 doomey] okay
[21:03 Guest_spazky] It was a short lived advantage, haut... oh well.
[21:03 Guest_spazky] little victories.
[21:03 hautdesert] You take what you get.
[21:03 Guest_spazky] Now I've exposed you for the fraud you are!
[21:03 hautdesert] ?
[21:03 Guest_spazky] That was directed at my opponent, not you desert.
[21:04 hautdesert] Ah!
[21:04 hautdesert] I was a bit perplexed...
[21:04 Guest_spazky] WE like to make sport of each other while we kill off each other's army.
[21:04 hautdesert] "How did he discover?" I asked myself.
[21:04 doomey] moi? a fraud?
[21:04 Guest_spazky] N5g
[21:05 doomey] got your move!
[21:05 Guest_spazky] x
[21:05 doomey] that would be check
[21:05 doomey] damn
[21:05 doomey] you bastard!
[21:05 hautdesert] Oooh!
[21:05 Guest_spazky] ha shaw!
[21:06 hautdesert] Can doomey escape?
[21:06 Guest_spazky] Luck be a lady tonight!
[21:06 doomey] Kg8
[21:06 Guest_spazky] Thanks for showing up, Hautdesert!
[21:07 Guest_spazky] got yer move.
[21:07 hautdesert] No problem!
[21:07 doomey] yes, desert. wish we had a board to show you where be who and who be what and such
[21:07 Guest_spazky] brb
[21:07 doomey] maybe in the future we will have a board like they do in the master tournys
[21:07 hautdesert] Yeah, I have trouble visualizing.
[21:08 hautdesert] Course, I could set one up beforehand and really be compulsive about it..
[21:08 hautdesert] naah.
[21:08 doomey] yah
[21:08 doomey] too much trouble, me thinks
[21:08 doomey] we need a neon board flashing the moves
[21:08 doomey] that would be cool
[21:08 hautdesert] Yeah.
[21:09 hautdesert] Ooh, yes, that would be excellent.
[21:09 Guest_spazky] my move
[21:09 hautdesert] I wonder if there's software available for something like that?
[21:09 hautdesert] I mean, I know they make online games, I mean something free or codeable.
[21:09 doomey] of course, there must be some way we could do this, but we are not privy to such knowledge
[21:10 Guest_spazky] yeah. I'll set that up tonight, with Bobby Fischer and Boris Yeltsin.
[21:10 Guest_spazky] Yahoo has something like that, don't they?
[21:10 hautdesert] Yeah, they do.
[21:10 doomey] ah yes, bob and boris
[21:10 doomey] that would be sweet
[21:10 hautdesert] I've heard there's popups, even in the middle of chess games.
[21:10 hautdesert] Though I've never tried it.
[21:11 Guest_spazky] Meanwhile, I must move! Keep the pressure on!
[21:11 Guest_spazky] I have to stand and peruse the board from above...
[21:12 hautdesert] You stand on the cieling?
[21:12 doomey] he has lifts
[21:12 doomey] like in the disco days
[21:12 doomey] like kiss
[21:12 Guest_spazky] 3g
[21:13 hautdesert] Ah!
[21:13 doomey] got your move
[21:13 doomey] theo
[21:13 doomey] never move the pawn in front of your king, sister
[21:14 Guest_spazky] got it?
[21:14 doomey] c5xd4
[21:14 Guest_spazky] Oh shit, what have I done?
[21:15 hautdesert] Dang, I clicked away for a moment!
[21:15 Guest_spazky] got your move.
[21:16 Guest_spazky] q3f
[21:17 Guest_spazky] HD, you didn't miss much!
[21:17 Guest_spazky] I'm going for broke baby!
[21:17 doomey] Qf3?
[21:17 doomey] got your move
[21:18 Guest_spazky] Hear me roar!
[21:18 Guest_spazky] raaaar.
[21:19 Guest_spazky] I'm playing on pure adrenaline. With the help of a little crank, sister.
[21:19 Guest_spazky] And no that's not dick joke.
[21:19 doomey] d4xc3
[21:19 Guest_spazky] Banzai and all that.
[21:20 Guest_spazky] got yer move
[21:20 doomey] you crazy, ted
[21:20 Guest_spazky] 2bx3c
[21:20 doomey] someone should break into your house and haul you away in a big white strap-around, yo
[21:21 Guest_spazky] Alls I know is you got one pawn and I gots 2!
[21:21 doomey] got your move!
[21:21 Guest_spazky] that's some mean ass chessing there, boy.
[21:22 Guest_spazky] hello?
[21:22 Guest_spazky] You know what I'm saying?
[21:22 doomey] that's like being skinned over a boiling pot of chicken stew and being sprinkled with salt, baby!
[21:23 Guest_spazky] Gotta try on some shorts my wife just bought me...
[21:23 Guest_spazky] hold on..
[21:23 Guest_spazky] I'm removing my soiled pair now.
[21:24 doomey] oh christ
[21:24 doomey] Ne5
[21:24 Guest_spazky] Way too small!
[21:25 doomey] that's in now, ted
[21:25 Guest_spazky] I've been losing weight, but 32 inch waist? Please!
[21:25 doomey] small shorts
[21:25 doomey] shorty shorts, bra
[21:25 Guest_spazky] 34 is more like it.
[21:25 Guest_spazky] got your move!
[21:27 doomey] mulling...
[21:27 Guest_spazky] q2e
[21:27 doomey] come on, ted!
[21:27 doomey] got your move!
[21:28 Guest_spazky] Now I understand why you don't move that damn pawn in front of your king!
[21:28 Guest_spazky] Fucking horses!
[21:29 doomey] Ne4
[21:29 doomey] i don't
[21:29 Guest_spazky] All right.
[21:29 doomey] iwas just being a smartass
[21:29 Guest_spazky] got yer move.
[21:30 Guest_spazky] you trying to bust my balls?
[21:30 Guest_spazky] Stable boy tried to bust my balls.
[21:30 Guest_spazky] You know what happened to him?
[21:30 Guest_spazky] Toast.
[21:30 doomey] jeez
[21:30 doomey] i do like toast, but...
[21:30 Guest_spazky] But luckily, I'm in here under a nom de plume.
[21:31 Guest_spazky] Elsewise, things would be different.
[21:31 doomey] or a plum de la nom
[21:31 Guest_spazky] My lucky lady just ran out on me.
[21:31 doomey] yeah, like plymouth
[21:31 Guest_spazky] Is it my move?
[21:31 doomey] yesh
[21:31 Guest_spazky] Yeah, it is.
[21:33 Guest_spazky] q5h
[21:33 doomey] desert done left us
[21:33 doomey] nice of her to stop by
[21:33 Guest_spazky] Boom! Goes the dynamite.
[21:33 doomey] me thinks she was rooting for you, ted
[21:34 doomey] got your move
[21:34 Guest_spazky] Oh shit!
[21:34 Guest_spazky] I retract it!
[21:34 Guest_spazky] I get one mulligan, don't I?
[21:34 hautdesert] I'm here!
[21:34 hautdesert] got distracted.
[21:35 Guest_spazky] Come on. I don't know what I was all cocky for!
[21:35 doomey] Nxg5
[21:35 Guest_spazky] Well, you know. She is the first woman I ever published.
[21:35 Guest_spazky] I retract! I redact!
[21:35 hautdesert] Not seriously?
[21:35 doomey] ah, tis a special relationship
[21:35 hautdesert] *peers at archive"
[21:35 hautdesert] Dang!
[21:35 Guest_spazky] One mulligan. One mulligan, plz!
[21:36 Guest_spazky] take it all back.
[21:36 doomey] okay
[21:36 doomey] you wanna take back that last move?
[21:36 Guest_spazky] Is anyone listening?
[21:36 Guest_spazky] I rushed it?
[21:36 doomey] not me
[21:36 Guest_spazky] Yes!
[21:36 doomey] what do you want to take back?
[21:37 doomey] queen move?
[21:37 doomey] come on!
[21:37 doomey] i got places i gots to be, damn you
[21:37 doomey] let's go
[21:37 doomey] hup to!
[21:37 Guest_spazky] My queen was on 2e, right?
[21:37 doomey] hup hup!
[21:37 doomey] yes
[21:37 Guest_spazky] Yo?
[21:38 Guest_spazky] Ok!
[21:38 doomey] my knight was on e4
[21:38 Guest_spazky] I wll move from that position!
[21:38 doomey] your knight was on g5
[21:38 doomey] okay, you got the knights back where they are supposed to be?
[21:38 Guest_spazky] Nxn4e
[21:39 Guest_spazky] yes!
[21:39 doomey] got your move!
[21:39 Guest_spazky] got yer knight!
[21:39 doomey] d5xe4
[21:39 Guest_spazky] It's a battle of nutrition!
[21:39 Guest_spazky] Hautdesert is in delay hell.
[21:40 doomey] yesh!
[21:40 Guest_spazky] got yer move!
[21:40 Guest_spazky] I've still got the most pawns.
[21:41 hautdesert] No, I'm trying to watch and also make an origami horse shoe crab.
[21:41 hautdesert] The two don't mix.
[21:41 doomey] yes, you are rich in pawns
[21:42 Guest_spazky] 4h
[21:42 doomey] got yer move
[21:42 Guest_spazky] ah hah! Got yer oragami!
[21:42 doomey] Nf3
[21:42 doomey] check
[21:42 hautdesert] club?
[21:43 hautdesert] Yep, the progeny are into it these days. I'm test running a book from the library.
[21:43 doomey] you made a horse shoe crab out of paper
[21:43 Guest_spazky] I think those numbers next to the names of the chatter is actually time elapsed twixt posts, not delay time.
[21:43 doomey] amazing, yo
[21:43 doomey] you think?
[21:43 doomey] maybe
[21:43 doomey] maybe so, yo
[21:43 hautdesert] I was wondering what those were about!
[21:44 Guest_spazky] got yer move.
[21:44 hautdesert] I did! It looks a bit messy..
[21:44 Guest_spazky] x
[21:44 Guest_spazky] Kh1
[21:45 doomey] got yer move
[21:45 Guest_spazky] now what are you going to do, you sissy.
[21:45 doomey] Nxh4
[21:46 Guest_spazky] huh?
[21:46 Guest_spazky] got yer move.
[21:46 doomey] huh what
[21:46 Guest_spazky] Now you have pawns as I do.
[21:46 doomey] ah HAH!
[21:46 doomey] yes!
[21:46 Guest_spazky] Huh, yo mama.
[21:47 doomey] bah-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
[21:47 Guest_spazky] 4a
[21:47 doomey] that's all you got?!
[21:47 doomey] a4!
[21:47 doomey] got!
[21:47 doomey] your!
[21:47 Guest_spazky] I'm eating Kroger-brand nutsl.
[21:47 doomey] move![21:47 doomey] bitch!
[21:48 doomey] hook yer nuts up and spill yer yards, yar
[21:48 Guest_spazky] How's your wife?
[21:48 hautdesert] We used to have Kroger here.
[21:48 Guest_spazky] Eh?
[21:48 doomey] e6-e5
[21:49 Guest_spazky] What happend, got bought out by Safeway?
[21:49 Guest_spazky] got yer move.
[21:49 doomey] good christ, get yer nuts in hand.
[21:49 doomey] we've none of the brands you mentioned
[21:49 doomey] we grow ours on trees
[21:50 Guest_spazky] 5a
[21:50 doomey] got yer move
[21:50 Guest_spazky] Got yer gamibt!
[21:51 doomey] Bh3
[21:51 Guest_spazky] So?
[21:52 doomey] so...
[21:52 Guest_spazky] R1g
[21:52 hautdesert] now I"m delayed...
[21:52 doomey] lay down before me and worship me like a god!
[21:52 doomey] got your move
[21:52 hautdesert] They went out of business and disappeared.
[21:52 Guest_spazky] so?
[21:52 hautdesert] The nuts on trees here don't come already roasted and salted.
[21:53 Guest_spazky] Alls I gotta say is: Kroger rocks!
[21:53 hautdesert] Just a random thought.
[21:53 doomey] Nf3
[21:53 hautdesert] Yeah, my family liked to shop there. That was ages ago.
[21:53 Guest_spazky] Hey man, did you know that HD is constantly folding proteins on her computer?
[21:53 doomey] the nuts off our trees are salted and roasted
[21:53 doomey] strange yours aren't
[21:53 doomey] um
[21:54 Guest_spazky] ACK. yOU'RE KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH YOUR SONG.
[21:54 doomey] kneel down and prey to me like a frickin golden bull!
[21:54 hautdesert] .
[21:55 doomey] desert has period to say
[21:55 hautdesert] It's my computer's mission to help cure cancer!
[21:55 Guest_spazky] b3B[21:55 hautdesert] One of them distributed computing projects.
[21:55 hautdesert] Like seti@home.
[21:55 hautdesert] I'm freezing up! If I don't put in a message, I don't see any of yours.
[21:55 hautdesert] hence the dot.
[21:56 doomey] unclick refresh, darling
[21:56 Guest_spazky] But HD, isn't it true that cancer is an industry. If you find a cure,a bunch of people are unemployed?
[21:56 hautdesert] .
[21:56 doomey] up top, the refresh box
[21:56 doomey] uncheck it
[21:56 hautdesert] Well, people may be unemployed, but it seems a decent tradeoff.
[21:56 doomey] did you try and move Bb3, ted?
[21:57 hautdesert] Besides, there are other jobs helping take care of the people who don't die of cancer, yes?
[21:57 Guest_spazky] No, I think you must click the refresh, not unclick it?
[21:57 doomey] can't move to b3
[21:57 hautdesert] THanks, doomey, I've unclicked--I'll see if that helps.
[21:57 Guest_spazky] yeah, I did? Is that not right?
[21:57 hautdesert] Okay, I"ll re-click...
[21:57 doomey] oh right
[21:57 doomey] check the box, desert!
[21:57 doomey] check it
[21:57 Guest_spazky] I mean b2
[21:58 hautdesert] .
[21:58 doomey] your bishop, ted, is on c1
[21:58 Guest_spazky] Bishop b2
[21:58 doomey] you want to move it where?
[21:58 hautdesert] Hm, it's just messed up, clicked or unclicked.
[21:58 doomey] b2?
[21:58 doomey] okay
[21:58 Guest_spazky] damn it.
[21:58 doomey] got your move
[21:58 Guest_spazky] Yeah, this dojo sucks.
[21:58 Guest_spazky] But it's all we got!
[21:59 Guest_spazky] I got one Bishop, a rook and a microphone.
[21:59 hautdesert] Oooh, if I click ont he word refresh, it refreshes!
[21:59 hautdesert] Didn't need to earlier, but there it is. Ted, like I said, you take what you get. No sweat.
[22:00 Guest_spazky] yo?
[22:00 Guest_spazky] BD is plotting his next crushing move.
[22:00 doomey] b6
[22:00 Guest_spazky] HD is folding proteins.
[22:01 Guest_spazky] got yer move!
[22:01 hautdesert] Or his next moving crush?
[22:01 Guest_spazky] what's up with that?'
[22:01 doomey] folding proteins?
[22:01 doomey] can we talk in questions from here on out?
[22:02 Guest_spazky] I'm going to en passant your damn Bishop, yeah?
[22:02 hautdesert] What's up with folding protiens?
[22:02 Guest_spazky] How do you like dem apples, Doomey?
[22:02 doomey] you can't do that, ted!
[22:02 hautdesert] I think it's something to do with seeing how different protiens can be moved around or chaged, see?
[22:02 doomey] only pawns
[22:02 doomey] hah
[22:03 Guest_spazky] En passant the bishop, yo?
[22:03 doomey] only pawns, bra
[22:03 Guest_spazky] Give me that, will yuz?
[22:03 doomey] i see
[22:03 doomey] chaged
[22:03 hautdesert] And this has to do with what kinds of things might hook onto them, how their structured, etc, and hence how they might be rendered ineffective. Capiche?
[22:03 doomey] i dig chage
[22:03 hautdesert] Or something like that, anyway.
[22:03 hautdesert] It's pretty hazy in my mind, actually.
[22:03 Guest_spazky] All right, FUCKING GODDAMN FORGET IT!
[22:04 Guest_spazky] sORRY, hd, i HAVE TOURRETTES.
[22:04 hautdesert] Maybe I should read more about it.
[22:04 doomey] and a pushed in caps button
[22:04 hautdesert] Woah. Capslock tourettes!
[22:04 doomey] hah
[22:04 doomey] desert is a scientist, eh?
[22:04 hautdesert] No sweat. I used to work on a land surveying field crew. No joke.
[22:04 Guest_spazky] I wasnt swearing at you, HD. Doomey foiled my En Passant gambit.
[22:04 doomey] good christ, i love scientists
[22:04 hautdesert] I've heard some stuff.
[22:05 doomey] repect them, i do
[22:05 hautdesert] Nope. Housewife, actually.
[22:05 hautdesert] With a degree in music.
[22:05 hautdesert] And a bunch of odd jobs on my resume.
[22:05 doomey] some crazy stuff, eh, desert?
[22:05 Guest_spazky] Q4c
[22:05 hautdesert] My parents, they wuz scientists.
[22:05 doomey] heard some crazy digs?
[22:05 doomey] got yer move, ted!
[22:05 hautdesert] Yup. Waited tables, shot foundations, answered phones..
[22:06 hautdesert] Sold tickets for nearly unlistenable New Music concerts.
[22:06 doomey] wow
[22:07 doomey] color me impressed
[22:07 Guest_spazky] got it?
[22:07 hautdesert] Actually, some of the concerts were kind of cool. But most of them were hard to listen to.
[22:07 doomey] i respect the waitress crew
[22:07 doomey] i was a busboy once
[22:08 Guest_spazky] We publish only the most worldy folked fiction, is all.
[22:08 hautdesert] The clearing and waiting of tables--is very exhausting.
[22:08 Guest_spazky] Dig "They Sink"
[22:08 hautdesert] LOL, Ted! I guess writers are a bizzare crew.
[22:08 hautdesert] Glad to hear it!
[22:09 Guest_spazky] I'll have you know that not only am I being ground down to a nubbin, I am being ground down to a nubbin and I am sitting here in my underwear.
[22:09 hautdesert] It's fun to do things I have to research--it gives me an excuse to sit down and read and be able to say "I'm not being lazy, I'm working!"
[22:09 doomey] b6xa5
[22:09 hautdesert] Well, that's the only way to be ground down, if you have to be.
[22:09 Guest_spazky] Move, blast you!
[22:10 Guest_spazky] Got yer move.
[22:10 hautdesert] Especially if your shorts are too small. Be comfortable, that's what's important.
[22:10 Guest_spazky] I'm not seeing your strategem. ARe you taking the piss or what?
[22:10 doomey] got your move, sirah!
[22:11 Guest_spazky] Qx4e
[22:11 doomey] oh, you haven't moved yet
[22:11 doomey] good god, i must be drunk
[22:11 doomey] there we go
[22:12 doomey] got your move!
[22:12 Guest_spazky] How could you get it before I made it?
[22:12 hautdesert] I think time runs strangely in the dojo, that's all.
[22:12 doomey] i don't know
[22:12 doomey] i am laughing still
[22:12 doomey] watching absolutely fabulous while we play
[22:12 doomey] funny show
[22:12 Guest_spazky] It was like a scene from HD's cap. Kind of slipping the old spacetime continuum thing.
[22:12 doomey] damn
[22:13 doomey] those girls will ruin my game, yo
[22:13 hautdesert] Sinking?
[22:13 doomey] Nd2
[22:14 Guest_spazky] I'm concentrating on the game, and the game alone. You are dishonoring me, sir.
[22:14 doomey] what'd you do with sam?
[22:14 Guest_spazky] got yer move
[22:14 doomey] you toos him to the wayside?
[22:15 Guest_spazky] Pam, the old lady (my beautiful wife) came home.
[22:15 Guest_spazky] He prefers brunettes.
[22:15 doomey] ah
[22:15 doomey] pam
[22:15 hautdesert] With new shorts?
[22:15 doomey] say 'ello to pam, from the worst of us
[22:16 Guest_spazky] Q5d
[22:16 doomey] got your move
[22:17 Guest_spazky] Will do, bucko. "Hi Pam! From Doomey ... with love!"
[22:17 doomey] e4
[22:17 doomey] kinda like James frickin Bond, eh?
[22:18 Guest_spazky] She replied, "Stop abusing my hubby!"
[22:18 hautdesert] A loyal wife!
[22:18 Guest_spazky] Yeah, I told her that was lame.
[22:18 Guest_spazky] got yer move!
[22:19 Guest_spazky] you're killing me!
[22:19 doomey] oh, let me tell you, pam, abuse is hardly the word i'd use to describe the hell yer damn hubby has put me through
[22:19 doomey] hah
[22:19 Guest_spazky] Pawn 4 c
[22:19 hautdesert] What, he makes you read all that cap?
[22:20 doomey] that's the least of it, dear dear desert
[22:20 Guest_spazky] You've always been a hell of a broker, man.
[22:20 hautdesert] You seem to find some good stuff!
[22:20 hautdesert] Though I've seen a slushpile, and don't envy you your job.
[22:20 doomey] the housing is not up to code
[22:20 Guest_spazky] got the move?
[22:21 doomey] the drafts are not liquid, know what i mean
[22:21 doomey] the bed is stone Floor
[22:21 Guest_spazky] It is a bit dank down there, sir. But you seem to thrive in such environments.
[22:21 hautdesert] Eh. Give Jesus some plywood and nails. Hey, he's already got the nails!
[22:21 doomey] the wildlife has many legs, more than 4
[22:21 Guest_spazky] Pawn 4 c
[22:21 doomey] right
[22:22 hautdesert] Homebrew--it's the perfect place for something lambic-like, yes?
[22:22 doomey] jesus might right the boat
[22:22 doomey] got your move
[22:22 Guest_spazky] got it?
[22:22 Guest_spazky] Ok1
[22:23 Guest_spazky] Now prepare to die.
[22:23 doomey] Nf3
[22:23 Guest_spazky] yeah?
[22:23 Guest_spazky] ...got yer move
[22:23 doomey] oh yeah
[22:24 doomey] bring it
[22:24 doomey] bring it!
[22:24 Guest_spazky] qx3e
[22:25 hautdesert] I can't stay to the end! I must go.
[22:25 hautdesert] I'll check the QR to see how things came out..
[22:25 doomey] that's cool, desert.
[22:25 hautdesert] seizure!
[22:25 doomey] very nice of you to show up
[22:25 Guest_spazky] Again, I have more pawns! YESSSSSS!
[22:26 doomey] do you mean e4
[22:26 doomey] Qxe4?
[22:26 Guest_spazky] Too bad you won't be able to see me put the poignard between his ribs.
[22:26 Guest_spazky] Yes!
[22:26 Guest_spazky] Isn't there pawn there?
[22:26 doomey] i'll epee your ballsack to the plywood flooring, i will, ted
[22:27 Guest_spazky] You're too drunk to see!
[22:27 doomey] i've a pawn on e4
[22:27 doomey] you're queen could not take a pawn on e3
[22:27 Guest_spazky] Isn't there a pawn there, I ssssay?
[22:28 doomey] your queen is on d5
[22:28 Guest_spazky] er, that's what I meant, eh?
[22:28 doomey] can't take anything on e3
[22:28 Guest_spazky] Get your head in the game! It's obvious I meant that.
[22:28 doomey] hah
[22:28 doomey] you meant what
[22:29 Guest_spazky] 4e!
[22:29 Guest_spazky] That's what I said originally, check the script.
[22:29 doomey] queokay Qxe4?
[22:29 Guest_spazky] Err, no. I did originally say 3e. So sorry!
[22:30 Guest_spazky] I meant 4e
[22:30 doomey] okay got your move
[22:30 Guest_spazky] I take the pawn on 4e for god's sake!
[22:30 Guest_spazky] Give me the pawn, at least!
[22:30 Guest_spazky] I will win in the pawn game ... at least!
[22:31 doomey] Ng5
[22:31 Guest_spazky] I have to put a diaper on Sam and get his pj's on. Brb
[22:31 doomey] okay
[22:31 Guest_spazky] got yer move!
[22:31 Guest_spazky] brb
[22:32 Guest_spazky] q4h
[22:33 doomey] got your move, sir
[22:33 doomey] nasty
[22:33 doomey] you be giving me a hard time, damn it
[22:33 doomey] maybe you'll win!
[22:34 doomey] Rb8
[22:35 Guest_spazky] back
[22:36 Guest_spazky] got yer move
[22:37 doomey] righteous
[22:37 Guest_spazky] B4d
[22:37 Guest_spazky] The turn of the screw.
[22:37 Guest_spazky] I feel the noose tightening sir.
[22:37 doomey] got your move, bra!
[22:37 Guest_spazky] Or is that your neck being squeezed?
[22:38 Guest_spazky] hah.
[22:38 Guest_spazky] ha ha ha ha ha ha
[22:38 Guest_spazky] Got your move!
[22:38 Guest_spazky] Just practicing'
[22:38 doomey] Nf3
[22:38 doomey] i keep going back to this square
[22:39 doomey] strange
[22:39 Guest_spazky] .
[22:39 Guest_spazky] Yes. It's served you well.
[22:40 Guest_spazky] B3c
[22:40 doomey] hm
[22:40 Guest_spazky] You are toying with me!
[22:41 doomey] seems a limbo move, but...
[22:41 doomey] got your move!
[22:41 Guest_spazky] Damn it.
[22:41 doomey] what
[22:41 Guest_spazky] I already took my mulligan. How about I get two move to every one of yours?
[22:42 Guest_spazky] One and a half perhaps.
[22:42 doomey] you wanna take back?
[22:42 Guest_spazky] got your move!
[22:42 Guest_spazky] nah. I'm finished.
[22:42 Guest_spazky] You've got me in the cradle all night.
[22:43 doomey] i didn't make a move, nimrod
[22:43 Guest_spazky] Or rocker or whatever it's called. Wore me the heck out.
[22:43 Guest_spazky] Got youer move1
[22:43 Guest_spazky] Got your move!
[22:43 doomey] what move
[22:43 Guest_spazky] Sheesh. I can move for you1
[22:43 Guest_spazky] Eight?
[22:44 Guest_spazky] Aeet?
[22:44 doomey] eight?
[22:44 Guest_spazky] Like the brother's say.
[22:44 doomey] oh jeez
[22:44 Guest_spazky] Ahh-eeet.
[22:44 doomey] you've been woofing on the peace pipe
[22:44 Guest_spazky] Extra-freaking-Gold!
[22:44 doomey] okay
[22:44 doomey] my move?
[22:44 Guest_spazky] Now move, will yuz?
[22:45 doomey] Nxh4
[22:45 Guest_spazky] do it1
[22:45 doomey] your queen just skidded on her face in the dirt beside my warrior horse
[22:46 Guest_spazky] pawn x h4
[22:46 Guest_spazky] har har.
[22:46 Guest_spazky] I'm not laughing.
[22:46 Guest_spazky] Suck it.
[22:46 Guest_spazky] Warrior horse.
[22:46 doomey] got your move!
[22:47 Guest_spazky] Felled by a humble pawn1
[22:47 Guest_spazky] !!!
[22:47 Guest_spazky] Capiche?
[22:47 doomey] Qxh4
[22:48 Guest_spazky] AT least...
[22:48 Guest_spazky] Shouldna done that sucker!
[22:48 Guest_spazky] got yer move.
[22:48 doomey] yes?
[22:48 doomey] we are on our 32nd move
[22:49 doomey] pretty good
[22:49 Guest_spazky] Rx7g
[22:49 Guest_spazky] x
[22:49 doomey] nice!
[22:50 doomey] oh christ
[22:50 doomey] you might have me!
[22:50 doomey] you bastard!
[22:50 Guest_spazky] got my move?
[22:50 doomey] Kh8
[22:50 Guest_spazky] checkmate in two moves.
[22:50 doomey] my only move!
[22:50 doomey] damn
[22:50 Guest_spazky] got yer move.
[22:51 Guest_spazky] Rx7f x
[22:51 Guest_spazky] got it?
[22:52 doomey] got yer move
[22:52 Guest_spazky] huh?
[22:52 doomey] i am in check
[22:52 doomey] crap
[22:52 Guest_spazky] Good luck and goodnight, bra!
[22:52 doomey] Kg8
[22:53 Guest_spazky] It was like Ali vs. Foreman in Zaire! Rope-a-dope, rope-a-dope.
[22:53 Guest_spazky] Do you know how to rope a dope?
[22:53 Guest_spazky] got yer move
[22:53 doomey] yeah, i do know how to rope a dope
[22:54 doomey] wondering what yer planning
[22:54 Guest_spazky] Oops. Guess the mate in two moves just went out the window.
[22:54 doomey] might be i am sunk
[22:54 doomey] well...
[22:54 Guest_spazky] I've got you in a sling, though. Draw!
[22:54 doomey] i am never a man of 'mate in two moves',... bro
[22:54 doomey] no draw!
[22:54 doomey] no draw!
[22:54 Guest_spazky] What the rule on a closed circuit check sling thing?
[22:55 doomey] no idea
[22:55 doomey] your move!
[22:55 Guest_spazky] Where I just keep putting you in check forever?
[22:55 Guest_spazky] It's a battle of attrition!
[22:55 doomey] do it
[22:55 doomey] bring it
[22:55 doomey] no rule on that
[22:56 doomey] that i know of
[22:56 Guest_spazky] r7g
[22:56 Guest_spazky] x
[22:56 doomey] its not x, bro
[22:56 Guest_spazky] yeah?
[22:56 doomey] it's +
[22:57 Guest_spazky] what?
[22:57 doomey] check is +
[22:57 doomey] not x
[22:57 doomey] Kh8
[22:57 Guest_spazky] Your king is on g8?
[22:57 doomey] yeah
[22:58 doomey] it is check
[22:58 doomey] just +, not x
[22:58 Guest_spazky] =
[22:58 Guest_spazky] OK.
[22:58 Guest_spazky] sour grapes, man. Give me my X!
[22:59 Guest_spazky] all right. Got yer move.
[22:59 Guest_spazky] when you make it, that is.
[22:59 doomey] made it
[22:59 doomey] Kh8
[22:59 Guest_spazky] I'm watching 'Friends', so I kinda jumped the gun. That is, I don't need to concentrate fully in a game with you1
[23:00 doomey] no you don't
[23:00 Guest_spazky] R1g
[23:00 doomey] you should just make quick moves
[23:00 doomey] got your move
[23:01 doomey] Rg1?
[23:01 doomey] really?
[23:01 doomey] oh i get it
[23:01 doomey] the other rook
[23:01 Guest_spazky] yeah?
[23:01 Guest_spazky] right.
[23:01 Guest_spazky] the other rook.
[23:02 Guest_spazky] the one on a1
[23:02 Guest_spazky] sorry, bra.
[23:02 doomey] Bg4
[23:02 doomey] +
[23:03 Guest_spazky] There's a two for one special in aisle 4
[23:04 Guest_spazky] got yer move. Guess the special just ended.
[23:04 doomey] i've got some land for sale on an island off the coast of I'M A DUMBASS!
[23:04 Guest_spazky] K2g
[23:04 doomey] hah
[23:05 Guest_spazky] got it?
[23:05 doomey] you nearly had me, yo
[23:05 doomey] but as long as i can move, there's no checkmate
[23:05 Guest_spazky] darn. My rook is now snookered.
[23:05 doomey] got your move
[23:05 Guest_spazky] Finish it then, sir.
[23:06 doomey] Qh3
[23:06 doomey] and i believe that's checkmate, sister
[23:06 Guest_spazky] .
[23:06 Guest_spazky] Yep.
[23:06 Guest_spazky] At least make the proper symbols!
[23:06 Guest_spazky] ++
[23:06 doomey] yep, that's checkmate
[23:06 Guest_spazky] Well. Good game.
[23:07 doomey] i got you again, sister
[23:07 doomey] 3-0
[23:07 Guest_spazky] I made you work this time, a bit.
[23:07 doomey] no frickin doubt
[23:07 Guest_spazky] I will be sure to post this great victory.
[23:07 Guest_spazky] Best out of 13~!
[23:07 doomey] next game might be yours, f'r sure, bra
[23:07 doomey] alright
[23:08 Guest_spazky] We'll play again soon. Thanks. Looks like the script has held. So I gotta copy nad paste it.
[23:08 Guest_spazky] Anyhow. I hope work is going well for you ?
[23:08 doomey] goodnight and have fun and drink much and much softies not hard
[23:08 doomey] love ya, boss! see ya at the offices
[23:09 Guest_spazky] And the cap. It's flowing slowly. Hopefully will pick up by the fifteenth.
[23:09 Guest_spazky] Good night.

The Stable Boy Situation

This young scalawag has gone from straw-behind-the-ears neophyte to a raging Don Rickles wannabe. Though I am want to guffaw at some of his more outlandish insults, proper office deportment behooves me to censure the lout. Oh, and I know that such will only spur him on to even more incendiary heights of approbation, or whatever. But what else can I do? I can't very well 'take out the trash' as Gabrielle DePlancher suggests, can I? The landfill c'est la vie done gangland fashion is not a viable option ... is it? I'll be awaiting your advice in the comments section of this posting. Maybe a knee capping to slow the rascal down, as Boligard suggested somewheres in the Rump.

Zombie Holocaust dress rehearsal postponed due to dearth of cast

Until further notice. Seems Gabby is spending her weekends running naked through the woods or some such. Which is kinda cool to visualize, I think. But that leaves her with no modem jack or anything. Bulldust has calves and cows to contend with this weekend. Raygun is locked into a tet 'a tet with that insufferable whining card sharp Phil Helmuth: Go Raygun! So. This Friday just wasn't in the cards, sts. Get it? ha ha. I'm soooofa king funny. Anyhoot. Here are some gmails to give you a taste of the fall of the House of Zombie Holocaust rehearsal.


Teddy,

With regret but only some, I must advise that it is now unlikely that I will be able to appear as the disheveled Sonia, wife of big Portus, for the dress rehearsal in the dojo Friday nite. You see, I can't help it. It's hot, scorching hot, and on Fridays I have taken to leaving the mainstream and losing myself on the backroads in search of what is here as close to Shangri La as an upright Canadian girl can get. My tipi, my cabin-in-the-wood.

I don't have access to the 'net on weekends unless I stay where I am which, for the next few weeks, I probably will not because it would be foolish.

Is Friday the only time that works for everyone else?

My apologies for throwing the marble into the batter... I was a difficult child.

Gabrielle DePlancher
~ TQR
*

And this note from the rancid and despicable Stable Boy!

Bulldust will be crushed to hear you are not attending the dojo. but hey, he couldn't go anyway. his little bulls and little cows are in the village for the weekend.

but hey, frenchie chick, you look pretty skanky- I mean "hot" in that beret and tight-fitting skirt. how bout you and I do a little salsa in the straw. [stable boy adjusts his crotch]

I don't know if it's true, frenchie, but I'm hearing from others round this rump that you aint showing up for rehearsal coz you've got the rounds to do on friday night, if you know me meaning. they say your "work" name is graffitied all over that dimly lit corner down the road ... what's that intersection called again ... the one where all those professional ladies hangout at ... umm- oh that's right! that's right [stable boy says with a sneering grin] the intersection's called "Tit and Ass".
yeah, you're excused, frenchie, from the dojo. we don't go for your type round here, unless your handing out freebies that is!

if not, then you may as well go share a table with the other losers over there, the scrawny peck doomey and his ham sandwich buddy, mister landou.

Oye! santino, you slow prick, gimme a milkshake, and stick the straw in your draw this time. I'm going mouth to rim with this one. ANd hey, someone tell me where that wank-off theo is. I'm getting pretty sick of all these idjuts populating this joint. I want something done before I get the bull onto you. So don't mess with me. No one. I know the bull.
*

I'd not have that little hellion in my production if you paid me! But that is as it is. Stay tuned for the rescheduling of my epic fillum: Zombie Holocaust!