TQR Confidential

Friday, February 03, 2012

Acceptance Letter of the Week: Boligard to Mr. Rusty Barnes

Dearest Rusty,

Looked over the chapters you sent. Too bad we don't publish novels, or else you'd be looking down the long barrel of the editing staff of TQR Publishing, who actually penalize each edit with a stab in the author's left buttock with a cattle prod. Not saying, of course, that there'd be many edits to make, but, well, just saying, a lot of folks end up walking with a limp after they publish a novel with us, so....Phew, eh?

Anywhat, you old coot, I'm going to push this on up to the Terminal. Lord knows what they'll do with it. Usually we deal with short stories, or Capital, as Rorschalk likes to call it. But he's bat-shit crazy, so... Three of a Kind is a different kind of animal, it's a good kind of different kind of animal, mister, one we don't normally like to gut and serve for dinner 'round these parts, but I like it so much I'm just going to pretend I didn't know it wasn't a short story.

Shhh, don't tell anyone.

BTW, they (the Terminali) hate what I send up, so don't think your submission is blessed or anything by passing through my shaking hands, no siree. And if you're wondering why this acceptance letter is so strange, it's because Theodore Rorschalk now makes me send him a copy of every email I send to submissionees, whether it be praise or lambast, and so, well, you know, you get what you get, eh?

I'll be tubing this up to the Terminal asafp. Watch to see what they have to say about it come Feb. 15th or so. No promises, big boy, and congrats on making it past the first hurtle. May your strides by long and your bowel movements regular.

Keep it unreal,


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