Bonjour, Mlle Mims:

Merci for your recent submission to TQR.

Chance Encounters, at the outset, presents as a titillating narrative, non? In the opening scene, we look into the mind of a protagonist wondering how her 'mocha-coloured skin' would feel against him. Oi! Tres excite, mais oui.

But there is, almost immediately, the unbelievability factor, mon cher. The description of this protagonist, indeed the place, and also the circumstance----none ring true the bell of authenticity. Where is this fantasy cafe where shapely, mocha-coloured young female students congregate in the misty hours to 'do homework' while be-friending (with not even a hint of wariness suggested) plump, balding, lecherous gentlemen seeking thrills and late night tutoring opportunities? Je suis desole, I am sorry, dear writerly woman. When I read this cap and consider the subtext, I am reminded of the script for a perhaps......un film pornographe?

I cannot recommend Chance Encounters for further advancement here at TQR, as dirty as we sometimes may appear to the outside world beyond our drapeless and smudged windows. Perhaps it would fare better in another market where editors are not so fussy and particular about plot viability. You can write, dear one, but, at least this round, you have not tickled the monkey's dweezil and that means that this cap is not TQR material.

Merci beaucoup and best wishes, G. DePlancher

THE CHAMP loses on points, but gains some, too

Hello Carl,

Thanks for sending us cap, first of all! I really saw promise in The Champ, but I'm sorry to report that it did not touch the monkey. It just needs a few more twists through the tunnels, me thinks. And a final edit (only a few mistakes, but you know how I hate to stumble). Not sure if I mentioned it on the site, but I was thinking maybe the killing of the boxer might have something to do with the Creole magic? I dunno. Maybe see if you can work that in. Anywhat, please send us more. And if you refine The Champ, I wanna see it! Keep the nib to the notebook, and...

Keep it unreal,

Boligard Doomey the Floor www.tqrstories.com

SOLID JOE'S TROMBONE not quite solid enough

Bonjour, Mike Phillips.

> Thank you for allowing us to consider your recent submission, Solid Joe's Trombone, for our sensation of an e-zine, TQR.

Monsieur, there seems always aspects to admire in a writer's style, choice of subject, and/or execution of the deed selected as highlight in a piece. You have noticed this yourself, no doubt, as you are also an attentive reader. I do think the instrument as 'possessing' a kind of power whether good or evil is workable, indeed an element worth holding and expanding upon.

Solid Joe's Trombone, at present, is not....may I be gauche?....is not yet solid enough to be selected for review by the Terminali. You will be relieved that I stop the process here, although at the moment you may not perceive these words as relief. You must trust me in this assertion.

Think about these possibilities:

Solid Joe plays a key role, he IS the title, yet he is dead in the first act. We learn so very little about the relationship between Solid Joe and the protagonist....WHY is he recipient of such an important and sinister gift...Joe knows he needs saving?

Suddenly sending a sinner to church is somehow unsatisfying. Redemption may be readily available to those who seek it out, but it appears here as simply a way to end the narrative.

I think you can raise the quality, enrich your message, Monsieur.

You will forgive me if my expectations seem lofty. Solid Joe's Trombone is not yet ready for this shakey publication.

Merci beaucoup for your submission! We shall, I hope, hear from you again.

Sincerely,

Gabrielle DePlancher The Floor

Schwartz' ED, NORTON, RALPH, KRAMDEN ascends to the Terminal

Again, we have fumbled...but not quite fallen, j'espere, Monsieur Schwartz!

By now you must know without this official notification that your cap, Ed, Norton, Ralph, Kramden, has been sent to sully the white hankies dangling from the shirt pockets of the Terminali.

Yes, like any toiling Venture Capitalist who first chooses to glance the way of the mirage that is the mighty TQR and then to toss, with deliberation, a package borne of deep thoughts and earnest toiling, you deserve at least to receive this personal confirmation that sometimes what appears between the ragged and fetid edges of the large dance hall of The Floor is more than delusory mutterings from imaginary characters wandering half-dressed and partially baked in the hours between then and now.

Monsieur Schwartz, the cap has risen above the dust.

Thank you for your faith, your drops of blood upon the pages between the scuttle of your characters' fever, and for your return for more of the stuff of TQR. Bon chance! DeP

Dep, in spite of the typos, is gaga for FORGETTING ARTIE NEDDERS

Bonjour, Monsieur McNulty:

You write like a writer, McNulty. Yes, I have read your cap, Forgetting Artie Nedders, as recently presented to the dusty side of the street here at TQR.

McNulty, you've got a silly pencil, je pense, and a sharp one. I wanted to slap Artie at times...but then, I was tricked. Preposterous! I thought, as I read this cap...but then I smiled as I read the next development in this witty plot. You are a conscientious comic, non?

And because I like your cap, I forgive you for a couple of typos but I want you to find them anyway, just for the exercise. Sometimes, if caught in certain moods of the day, Doomey and I can turn nasty like rabid pit bulls off-leash when presented with caps wrought with spelling, grammatical, or typographical drizzle. Yes, because sometimes it's interpreted as insult to us lowly Floorites. We are sensitive.

Your cap has only a couple of these transgressions.

Find these: "pore" should be "pour" in the context of your cap while "you're" ought to be "your" in another place.

These things are minuscule, but important.

But, Monsieur McNulty, I go on too long...here is the important part: your cap, Forgetting Artie Nedders, will be delivered this date to the beasts residing in the Terminal. There, it may endure unspeakable wretchedness or absolute love and coddling. It's the chance you take.

Merci, for taking the chance with TQR. It's a risky business.

Bon chance!

DeP

Cleary's TRUE DESTINY meets its on the Floor

Hello Joseph, Sorry to have to let you know that the capital you sent us did not touch the monkey. Thanks for giving us a chance to publish True Destiny. I'm sure some other mag will pick it up soon. Keep the nib to the notebook, and... Keep it unreal,

Boligard Doomey

the Floor

www.tqrstories.com