YOU KNOW YOU'RE A VAMPIRE's minor monkey slap down

Hi Douglas,

Merci for thinking of our rag-a-lag when looking for a home for your cap, You Know You're a Vampire. We appreciate your interest. Without people like you, we'd have nothing to read and, well, Doomey and I would probably get distracted.

You need some work here, soldier. For one thing, you ought to hang around places, listen to the way people speak to each other. Eavesdrop. Talk to your mirror reflection and mimic what you hear. I think it will help.

You're a storyteller, I don't doubt it. There's an understory here, but it's bogged down and obscured. PTSD is real. It hurts. In Vampire, I just don't recognize anyone I might even remotely care about, you know? Bill and Chad and the Manager...none of them seem to have much of a pulse. I don't know what their skin smells like or what really matters to them. You got to wake these zombies up, Douglas! Make us care.

There's a base here. Take down the flimsy walls and rebuild them slowly and with care. Put some windows in the house and turn on the lights so we voyeurs can find out what these guys are cooking inside their souls. Reach inside them---and yourself----and wrench it out. It's there; you know it is or you wouldn't have bothered.

Not this time, Douglas. Monkey slap down for you.

It's a tough business.

All the best,

Gabrielle DePlancher / The Floor / TQR

Sent while levitating from my own Bright Cloud.